Scandals and Animals

The song it sings has been stuck in my head for days.

I'm still bitter that Microsoft canned Conker's Other Bad Fur Day.

In light of Double Fine's success, Chris Seavor should solicit funds via Kickstarter to independently produce another game.

I saw a telly advert in which a woman is thrilled to receive an edible arrangement and thought, "Bitch, please. It's a fuckin' bouquet of fruit."

Edible arrangements are like gag gifts – once the novelty wears off, you're stuck with a mass of perishable fruit that tastes off.

Idea: An edible arrangement eating competition.

The last meal for every inmate on Death Row should be an edible arrangement. No substitutions.

Idea: An edible kebab arrangement.

At Toys "R" Us, I stumbled upon bargain brand painted-bottle-cap necklaces for girls, because painted-bottle-cap necklaces should not be exclusive to affluent girls. I mean, what girl doesn't want to wear a painted bottle cap around her neck?

Toys "R" Us' shopping carts are recyclable.

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