This Onion article is a video? Forget it.

Why couldn't this ESPN blogger type his answers to mailbag questions?

Some things don't need to be – and are annoying as – videos.

Some videos don't need to be at all.

I can't read a sports news article nowadays without some redundant, related video auto-playing. At least when I look up definitions on Merriam-Webster's website, the gratuitous "ask the dictionary editor" videos auto-play by default on mute.

I understand seeking to engage visitors, but video content for the sake of video content just alienates them. The Internet is a self-gratifying medium. As such, forced video is unwelcome. It's attention rape.

You find a video clip of a bull falling into and over a waterfall. If you wish to view it, click on the play button. If not, turn to page 241.