—Jim Henson would have been 75 today.
—But he's not. Who cares about a birthday that doesn't exist?
—I miss him.
—You miss him or you miss his work? Regardless, you can miss both at any time. Celebrating his non-existent birthday is just masturbatory.
—BULLYING IS FOR LOSERS.
—So is suicide.
—Do Gaga fans realize that trending BULLYING IS FOR LOSERS is itself bullying?
—If bullying is for losers, and Gaga fans bully, then Gaga fans are losers.
—Oh, but according to Gaga, EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL.
—[grumbles] Empty, illogical, masturbatory activism.