I am pleased to announce that we bought a zoo, a rad one, with African cats, straw dogs, a war horse, and a kung fu panda too!
We cordially invite you all to attend its grand re-opening this weekend. Enter for free, meet the zookeeper Dolph Intale, and behold our many captives. I recommend: the green hornet, the eagle, the beaver, the lion of Judah, the whale, Mr. Popper's penguins, the giant piranha Alvin, and the chipmunks.
But that's not all!
You may have seen a time-lapse video on the Internet documenting the rise of the Planet of the Apes attraction in our zoo's jungle area. On Friday, we are christening it.
On Saturday, stay late for "shark night" and sleep(over) with the fishes.
And on Sunday, join us for an intimate safari brunch among bins of food and water for elephants, giraffes, and zebras.