Keegan's Club

1

—You know how you decreed that "ape shall not kill ape"? Well, bonobos do not seem to discriminate in their sexual behaviour by age.

—Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!

Paedos of the Planet of the Apes
Summer 2013

2

The COPINE scale is a rating system used in the United Kingdom to categorise the severity of child pornography. At the high end of the scale:

10. Sadistic/Bestiality
Pictures showing a child being tied, bound, beaten, whipped or otherwise subject to something that implies pain. Pictures where an animal is involved in some form of sexual behaviour with a child.

That child-animal sex is included on the scale suggests that it has been photographed before.

Creating child-animal pornography – that may be worse than the Holocaust.

—11. Dead animal.
[pause]

3

Homosexual necrophilia among ducks ruffles research feathers

Mr Moeliker was informed of an American case involving a squirrel and a dead partner, although in this case it is not known whether the necrophilia observed was homosexual or not as the victim had been run over by a truck shortly before the incident.

4

In this infamous episode of Too Close for Comfort, we learn that ambiguously gay Monroe was abducted, thrown into a bathtub full of Jell-O, and raped by two stout women [audience laughter]:

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