Previously on Adam Riff™:
So in real life, the Thai family is Thai (father of the bride), Korean (bride), and Taiwanese (her brother). #alllooksame

THE HANGOVER: PART II: PART II

The more I think about the film, the more annoyed I get.

Stu says, "When we woke up, the power was out," but the power is on when they wake up, so either 1. the elevator regained power with Teddy inside, which means Teddy could have freed himself, or 2. the elevator lost power at the same time as their room, in which case, why didn't Teddy scream for help or bang on the elevator door? They might have heard him when they iced Chang Chow.

Power or no power, how does a genius remain stuck in a hotel elevator in Bangkok for two days?

Chow has a speedboat. How convenient.

Alan knows how to operate a speedboat, because of course he does.

Teddy lost a finger. No biggie!
Stu bottomed for a tranny stripper. Whatevs!
The bullet only grazed Phil's arms. Moving on!

The heart of the film is utterly inconsequential.

My keys were in my pocket this whole time: the movie.

The Hangover: Part III should just be a short film. They don't lose a member of a wedding party, and they fill in the previous night via photos. The end. Scrap the poorly-designed Amazing Race non-elimination leg.

"Make your way to a tattoo parlor, where a clunky expository device will give you your next clue."

"Roadblock: Who's ready for some meditation?"

• The to-do list for every fat, naked man at the gym
• Someone on yelp created a review for the onion's Abortionplex