"Who is the quarterback for the Falcons? I'm blanking." "He's white. He played for Boston College." "Matt? Joe?" "Goddammit! What is his name?" "I'm not football-retarded! I can name every starting quarterback in the NFC except this misterfalcon!" "Okay, I can't name the quarterback for…

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So this is happening. The next season of Curb Your Enthusiasm will be set in New York City. Louis C.K. lives in New York City. It could be like the diner scene in Heat! • ON THE NEXT MAD MEN meme

I see a web redemption in this band's future. Pitchfork's staff compiled a list of The Top 50 Music Videos of the 1990s. Notably absent: "Tonight, Tonight" and "Smack My Bitch Up." Two other videos I would have lobbied for: God Lives Underwater "From Your…

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Essential Killing Vincent Gallo plays a fugitive Taliban soldier in Europe who "must use his wits to evade his pursuers whilst battling bitter winter cold and lack of food." The Whistleblower Rachel Weisz plays a Nebraska cop on the trail of a sex-slave ring in…

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I like all types of music, except country. I like all types of films, except ones with subtitles I like all types of television, except reality. I like all types of video games, except casual ones. I like all types of comics, except manga. I…

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TLC's Freaky Eaters premieres on September 5. Each episode follows someone who is forced to confront the painful truth behind a food obsession and come face to face with its destructive side effects. The only two episodes announced so far are "Addicted to Cheeseburgers" and…

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In the clean version of song of the now "Fuck You," Cee-Lo sings "forget you." It doesn't sound too it-started, but his sentiment definitely loses punch. Electric Six sang "he's the Xbox to your Atari" in 2008. Same song: "He's not sorry you're the station…

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Friday evening. I'm hungry. What time is it? 6:00. I can still catch happy hour at Chotchkie's. Fill up before my night of work ahead. The parking lot is packed. I hope the bar isn't too. Oh good. I seated myself in an open chair…

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Join 311 as they cruise from Miami to Turks and Caicos with a ship full of passionate 311 fans! [source] Where does a cruise rank among gigs for faded musical artists? I say: American Idol > a cruise > an Indian casino > a corporate…

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"I bet she's wild in bed." "Who's wild?" "Susie. That Next Food Network Star judge." "Oh! Corporate Lisa Bonet!" "More disturbing sex tape: Susie and Bob Tuschman or Susie and Bobby Flay?" "Oof. Tough call." "This should be an episode of Throwdown." "Food Network after…

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Derrick Rose likes to eat Skittles, so earlier this month, Wrigley delivered a Skittles vending machine to his house and promised to keep it stocked for at least three years. The machine holds every variety of Skittles and tempts him, in his own voice, whenever…

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Previously on Adam Riff™: – 000-012-3456? Oh. Skype. – Tony Fader called me last night. "Are you going to relinquish the domain name?" "No." "Why do you own the domain name?" "Well, I know a Tony Fader. He was…heh…my hero in 2002 and…" "Is this…

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Did you know that China

A stunt reel for Lasko, a hit German television series about a monk who the Vatican dispatches to save Catholics in trouble using martial arts. The second season just wrapped production.