Date Archives August 2010

Born to run

"Who is the quarterback for the Falcons? I'm blanking." "He's white. He played for Boston College." "Matt? Joe?" "Goddammit! What is his name?" "I'm not football-retarded! I can name every starting quarterback in the NFC except this misterfalcon!" "Okay, I can't name the quarterback for…

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Spiders

"I bet she's wild in bed." "Who's wild?" "Susie. That Next Food Network Star judge." "Oh! Corporate Lisa Bonet!" "More disturbing sex tape: Susie and Bob Tuschman or Susie and Bobby Flay?" "Oof. Tough call." "This should be an episode of Throwdown." "Food Network after…

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Sugar

Derrick Rose likes to eat Skittles, so earlier this month, Wrigley delivered a Skittles vending machine to his house and promised to keep it stocked for at least three years. The machine holds every variety of Skittles and tempts him, in his own voice, whenever…

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