Pour it out

UCLA's best year ends in heartbreak

I know it's "just the baseball team," but I'm crushed all the same. You'd think I'd be able to shake off tough UCLA losses by now. Nope!

On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is game 6 of the 2002 World Series, I rank this loss a 6.


—boone was AWFUL
—but 04 fixed that
—now, it's probably the 18-1 game
—they HAD it
—they had eli wrapped up
—and then tyree made the most stupid catch of all time — his LAST CATCH mind you

—boone was a 10 no questions asked
—18-1… 8.5?

At first, I thought: "Wow, he's suffered some devastating losses," but then I thought: "Three Super Bowls, two World Series and an NBA Championship in eight years – why am I feeling sorry for him?"

The only victory parade I've ever experienced was for the freakin' White Sox.

Chinese businesses rent white people to impress clients and officials

Image of the Invisible

The 2010 San Francisco Frozen Film Festival opens on Friday with Dive!, a documentary on the waste of the western world slash primer on dumpster diving. Director Jeremy Seifert and his friends no longer spend money on groceries.

Immediately following Dive! is the world premiere of The Vinyl Frontier, a documentary on designer toy collecting.

Then on Saturday, catch the US premiere of No Fun City, a documentary on the struggles of Vancouver, BC's punk music underground.

I ain't looking for nothing in anyone's eyes

From a Time article on Eclipse attempting to reach out to male audiences:

Still, when it comes to convincing bro nation, Summit has an uphill battle ahead. Adam Carolla, a former co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, whose testosterone-filled podcast is now the most popular on iTunes, finds Eclipse a hard sell. "How would I market Eclipse to guys? I'd tape a hundred-dollar bill to the bottom of each theater seat," he tells TIME.


I'd love to hear the phone call.

"Hi, Adam. I'm writing an article on Twilight…"

In 2008, Disney surprised Comic-Con attendees with a teaser for what would become Tron: Legacy. I wish more Comic-Con panels featured E3-press-conference-type surprises. If Disney can secretly produce a teaser, so can every other studio.

"Never. Say. Die."
"Holy shit!"

In response to Congress banning film futures trading, a Consumerist reader comments:

All that box office futures trading would to [sic] is make it so that ticket prices become so unreasonable that a family of 4 just couldn't afford a night out at the movies with snacks on a regular basis… Oh wait..


Even if your family cannot attend matinee screenings, you can eat beforehand, or smuggle in snacks, and opt against premium screenings in 3D and Fake IMAX. You can also buy discounted passes at Costco.

My "one strike" rule for Twitter/Flickr and why you shouldn't be offended when someone blocks you.
PETA asks Vince McMahon to bring wrestler Daniel Bryan back.

Like the wily fish

» On his new show, Craig Kilborn will have a sidekick – Christine Lakin, who played Al Lambert on Step by Step.

» Syfy cast 80s pop star rivals Debbie Gibson and Tiffany in Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. Yes, they will fight.

» Mega Python vs. Gatoroid producer The Asylum's next release is Airline Disaster, starring Meredith Baxter as the President (Plesident?) of the United States of America.

Look at this fucking control room!

» Internet Video Idea: Update the computer virus mission in Independence Day with John Hodgman as Jeff Goldblum, Justin Long as Will Smith, and a MacBook Pro running Snow Leopard.

Cormac McCarthy's "Toy Story 3"
Secret City Nicknames by Patton Oswalt

Tracing the Epiphany That Entourage Is Not a Very Good Show

Could there be anything worse than having a drawer (potentially multiple drawers) that are just jorts?

It May Be Time For Kevin Smith's Jorts Intervention

» It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Complete Season 5 features audio commentary on "The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention" by Dr. Drew.

» Jay Baruchel will guest star on The Drunk and on Drugs Happy Funtime Hour, Robb Wells, John Paul Tremblay and Mike Smith's follow-up to Trailer Park Boys.

» Detroit is exploring the idea of hosting the Summer Olympics in 2020 with a possible joint bid with Windsor. Detroit has more unsuccessful bids than any other city.

The 10 most awkward NHL Draft rookie glamour shots

» Jobing.com Arena and University of Phoenix Stadium are located across the street (Teeter Hang Ups Avenue?) from each other.

» "Teeter" is his actual surname!

» I'm baffled as to why CARFAX needs a mascot. GEICO envy?

» Free Association: 30 Seconds to Mars — orange soda.

» UCLA is the first school to play for a national title in baseball and softball in the same season.

» Every year, Omaha's eCreamery concocts ice cream flavours for all eight teams playing in the College World Series.

I'm not crazy about its name, but I dig our flavour. I used to order a similar concoction when I patronized Cold Stone. Cakey ice cream + strawberries + chocolate = delicious. South Carolina's flavour is just a McDonald's Dollar Menu hot fudge sundae – not that there's anything wrong with that. I used to order them when I patronized McDonald's.

5 Most Disgusting Items In The Trader Joe's Freezer Aisle

» To avoid a Toronto security situation, organizers of the G-20 Seoul Summit this fall built a convention centre on an artifical island in the Han River.

Better Idea: A G-20 summit cruise! EH?

China wins Robot World Cup

When I come around

Anyone ever attend a college alumni event?

As a lifetime member of the UCLA Alumni Association, I'm notified of all local alumni events, but I've shamefully never attended any. I just picture them as…student council swinger parties. I dunno…

The UCLA baseball team sucked me into the College World Series, so much so that I'm even following the Twitter feed of the coach's 12-year-old son.

Today we face pitching phenom Matt Purke.

I just saw the 2010-11 men's basketball home schedule. February 5: St. John's. Steve Lavin vs. Ben Howland at Pauley Pavilion?

Your Idea of Fascism and Global Intervention Makes Me Puke

KoRn's boycott of BP has caught on as more artists have committed to avoiding the use of fuel sold by BP and its affiliates on their upcoming tours for 2010.

Acts like Disturbed, Lady Gaga, Rise Against, Godsmack, Backstreet Boys, Rock Star Energy Drink Mayhem Festival, Slightly Stoopid, Rob Zombie, Megadeth, Black Label Society, Anthrax, Creed, Filter, Hellyeah and Flogging Molly have all joined the boycott.

"The message we are sending should tell all the oil companies to spend the money and take the necessary precautions to make sure this doesn't happen again." [source]

Okay, if my sources are accurate…

1. BP owns only a handful of the 11,000 stations that bear its brand. The majority are owned by independent dealers obligated under long-term contracts to sell BP-branded fuel.

2. The actual gasoline BP stations sell is a mixture of fuel from multiple refiners or importers. The gas in pumps may not be extracted, refined or stored by BP at all and may just get a spritz of BP additives right before it ends up at the station.

3. BP sells fuel to other retailers. Fuel from other gas stations sometimes comes directly from refineries or wholesalers that BP owns outright.

Thus: KoRn boycotting BP is like me boycotting concert venues that KoRn will play on its upcoming tour. If you want to send a message to oil companies, then boycott gasoline altogether. Tour the country via public transportation.


Papa Roach has included a special hidden track on their new album encouraging fans to do their part to fight hunger and homelessness. On the track, frontman Jacoby Shaddix asks fans to take out their phones and text a number for WhyHunger in order to donate $5 to the organization.

"It's really important to us to offer support in any way we can." [source]

If it's so important to you, then why is your plea a hidden track? It should be watermarked on every track.

Also: A hidden track? In 2010? Really?!

Oh this is rich:

KoRn's 1998 album "Follow The Leader" contains 25 tracks, the first 12 of which are hidden tracks containing five seconds of silence each. Jonathan Davis did not like the fact that the album would have ended on the 13th track (due to superstition), so they preferred to start the album on that track instead. [source]

Prince Paul made public (and for free!) an unreleased album he made in 1995
Dan Clowes Boredom Game
Ric Flair Tennessee Lottery Commercial


Time for another round-up.

Women's Studies
A pregnant grad student and her friends are held captive at a women's academy that's actually a cult of feminists bent on the enslavement of men.
Former football star turned convict, Tyler "The Fuse" Draven, discovers in jail that he has the ability to create fire by mere thought alone! Now he's going to use his new-found power to get revenge on everyone that's ever done him wrong… which seems to be the entire world!
Mother's Day Massacre
Jim Cavanaugh is a shy suburban New Jersey teenager. His mom left when he was a child and his father is a real jerk. The unrelenting psychotic domination of his redneck father forces Jim to search out his long lost mother. His quest takes him to the backwoods of Jersey where he encounters semi-retarded hillbillies who have a taste for DIY circumcisions and Peterbilt trucks.
Teach Me: Skateboard Edition
Anabolic took over a local skatepark for a day to see which girls had the best lip tricks, and who could grind the best!!! These lovely lasses all seemed to appreciate longboards logistically launched into (wet) waiting pipes!!! 6 action scenes starring 7 super stoked sluts!



How is your job search going?
It isn't. I stopped looking.

Because I don't know what I'm doing. I want off the office bitch track, but being an office bitch is my best immediate employment option, but employers are passing on me because I don't seem interested, but I'm not interested, but I desire income, but I fear digging a deeper hole for myself professionally and spiritually…

I suspended my job search to formulate a plan and…haven't yet. It's been two weeks.

What's the hold-up?
Existential indifference? I'm interested in a lot of stuff, but I'm not passionate about anything. Like, I'm interested in becoming an EMT, but doubt my potential commitment.

Are you afraid of failure?
No, but I'd prefer to avoid it. I'm not sure I have the will to rebuild again in my 30s.

So now what?
I don't know.

The Nastiest Things You've Ever Seen on the Subway
9 Questions That Toy Story Left Unanswered
The strange genius of the fourth season of 'Til Death

Puppets come from marinara

The rumoured itinerary for The Amazing Race 17:

Gloucester, MA
Hong Kong
South Korea
Los Angeles, CA

Intriguing. The Amazing Race hasn't visited Africa since season twelve and South Korea since season four.

That one Korea leg is one of my favourites.

Roadblock: Strip to your underwear, dive into a frigid lake, and swim underneath foot-thick ice from one fresh-cut hole to another.

Detour: Eat still-wriggling baby octopus.

Man Shops Globe somehow slipped past my radar.

As the buyer-at-large for Anthropologie, Keith travels the globe in a never-ending hunt to find the world's most beautiful, unique and desired treasures. [source]

Oh brother…

Surely someone's pitched Man Shags Globe by now.

Last Sunday's NASCAR Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips 400 drew a 2.9 U.S. rating on TNT. [source]

The Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips 400 – I see why NASCAR races are promoted by location.

Some of the race names are a mouthful.

Crown Royal Presents The Your Name Here 400
The Autism Speaks 400 presented by Hershey's Milk and Milkshakes
The NASCAR Banking 500 only from Bank of America

Weekend Nachos

Mastodon composed the score for Jonah Hex?

Black Eyed Peas recorded a theme song for Knight and Day?

Transformers 2 already explored the same plot [as Toy Story 3] to greater thrill and opulence. [source]

Armond White should teach a graduate program in trolling.

Toy Story 3

Man, toys are insecure.

So Andy's toys spurn him for a day care centre, realize they made a huge mistake, get bailed out by a cowboy friend, and land with a golden parachute – this is supposed to be endearing?

In real life – outrageous! In RealD – outstanding!

A day care centre could use Andy's toys way more than Bonnie, but they feel they are better than day care. They ditch fellow toys to lounge in a private attic.

All toys are equal, but some toys are more equal than others.

Does not Chatter Telephone deserve personal prepubescent pampering?

Toy Story 4: Woody rescues his friends from a Christmas toy drive for homeless orphans.

I want to write a spin-off to Toy Story 3 where the toys go through grief counseling after witnessing Andy masturbating for the first time. [source]

Toy Story 3's most effective parts involve Andy, and I wish the film focused solely on him coming to grips with outgrowing his toys. Flip the script and enrich it with flashbacks.

I missed the short because it was misaligned (reverse letterboxed) and no one in the auditorium wanted to notify theatre management. We played a game of chicken with an absent projectionist.

Spanish Buzz was too broad for my taste. The tango? [groan] Señor cara de tortilla, however… Jajajajaja! The triceratops' awkward instant message also tickled me.

What kind of toy is a piggy bank?

Lotso is the Sofia Coppola of the film.

Toy Story 3 Easter Eggs
Leonardo DiCaprio and his many college caps
Disturbing Simpsons