Mulatto Butts

"I finally gained access to a Slingbox in the eastern time zone. I hope to catch Lost at 6:00 PM today."

[phone rings]

"Hello?"
B: Jon, you free for dinner tonight?
"Dinner?"
"With my father. He's leaving tonight."
"I thought he left after we ate dinner with him on Sunday."
"He canceled. Chest pains. If you were on Facebook… Anyway, can you join us?"

[pause]

"Sure."
"Super. Meet at my house at 6:00 PM."

[pause]


6:00 PM.

"Hello?"

I hear Run-DMC's "It's Tricky" playing in the living room. I enter to find B's father sitting on a sofa with B's laptop, dancing with my nominal nephew Cole.

"What are they dancing to?" I wonder. "Oh. iTunes."

Cole selects another song – Beyoncé's "Crazy in Love."


Oh shit!

Oh shit!

[to myself] "Oh shit!"

When it comes to the club, step aside (oh shit!)

B's father: Hey, this isn't "London Bridge"…

B's father approximates the nursery rhyme over Fergie, and then, oblivious to the blaring profanity, the 60-something foreign businessman and his four-year-old grandson just dance.


"Oh shit! Lost airs at 7:00 PM on CTV! 4:00 PM pacific… I could catch it at work on my laptop…"

[typing and clicking]

"Sling's software doesn't run on Tiger – super…"


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