Guest Blogger: Asher Roth

Yo yo! Asher here. You may remember my hit song "I Love College." Well, college isn't the only thing I love.

If you have a drink, would you please put it in the air?


That TV series was awfully crazy, I wish I taped it
Now you can follow the characters as they're escapin'
Drink my beer and smoke my weed, but my PlayStation's all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat, then play it again
Man, I love Prison Break: The Conspiracy!


I wanna play this game for the rest of my life
Befriend Abruzzi by fetching him a knife
Find an empty cupboard in which to hide
Earn cash for tats in underground fights

So pop in the disc, let's boot it up
Two-player versus mode, who want what?
I am king of kings at escaping
Alonzo Mourning, Patrick Ewing…


I made a three volume Kenny Powers themed mix
Sorrows of a Coddled Rock Band: Jonathan Fire-Eater Burns Out

Ip Man 2

Ip Man 2 opens on April 29 in Hong Kong. Ong Bak 3 opens a week later in Thailand. Goodness gracious…

In Ong Bak 3 Tien's legs and arms will be damaged by torture and require Jaa's character to "fight with some sort of boneless action. This is homework for Panna Rittikrai and Tony Jaa to create the action for us to see what it will look like to fight in the state of boneless condition." [source]


Maybe we all just can't live our dreams like Felicity in the show Felicity

Bryan Cranston on Breaking Bad's Mexican "Cousins":

We had to cover up some tattoos. On Luis's eyelids are two words, fuck [and] you. I said to him, "Wow, did that hurt getting that on there?" He said, "No, what hurt was the spoon they had to put underneath the eyelid in order to engrave the tattoo on." [source]

related: The actor who plays Guillermo on Weeds is gay. Huh.

Don't let the smooth taste fool you

» My $100 bet on Michigan State to win The Tournament is looking prittay, prittay good. 30 to 1 odds. [slaps desk Wojo-style]

» Leading a pool with a single bracket is no more impressive than leading with one of multiple brackets. A pound of feathers, a pound of gold.

» Idea: Busted Bracket Challenge. Win money for missing all 64 winners, like you do playing 20-spot keno.

» Drink tanks – Coke Zero solicited "ways to advance the NCAA fan experience"; Pepsi is soliciting "ideas that move the world forward." And this sells pop how?

"We couldn't get Tom Cruise."

» Reese's is an odd "official sponsor of the NCAA." Players receive free peanut butter cups?

» Butler University's president is Chinese!

Bobby Fong lives on campus and is known to many students as "BoFo." [source]

Baylor recovered from murdered players faster than IU from text messages. I'm sick. [source]

» Idea: A documentary on black Duke fans. A Twitter search for "duke haters" was…revealing.

YouTube link

» By my count, Vitale clasps his hands 59 times. It's like he's playing a light gun shooter where you clasp your hands to reload. What a strange default position.

a brawl over a cheeseburger at a Texas Whataburger, which includes a rotund man yelling "Fuck you and your cheeseburger!" and losing his gym shorts during a tackle
The Difference between Nerd, Dork, and Geek Explained by a Venn Diagram
A Pop-Culture History of the Jacuzzi

Watch me die in my suicide high

You open a new ChapStick.

You need to urinate.

While urinating, you decide to apply some ChapStick and accidentally drop its cap in the toilet bowl.

Q: Do you extract the cap and clean it for re-use or buy another ChapStick?

Culture that makes you feel old
The 15 Most Bizarre Insurance Policies Ever Written

Mulatto Butts

"I finally gained access to a Slingbox in the eastern time zone. I hope to catch Lost at 6:00 PM today."

[phone rings]

B: Jon, you free for dinner tonight?
"With my father. He's leaving tonight."
"I thought he left after we ate dinner with him on Sunday."
"He canceled. Chest pains. If you were on Facebook… Anyway, can you join us?"


"Super. Meet at my house at 6:00 PM."


6:00 PM.


I hear Run-DMC's "It's Tricky" playing in the living room. I enter to find B's father sitting on a sofa with B's laptop, dancing with my nominal nephew Cole.

"What are they dancing to?" I wonder. "Oh. iTunes."

Cole selects another song – Beyoncé's "Crazy in Love."

Oh shit!

Oh shit!

[to myself] "Oh shit!"

When it comes to the club, step aside (oh shit!)

B's father: Hey, this isn't "London Bridge"…

B's father approximates the nursery rhyme over Fergie, and then, oblivious to the blaring profanity, the 60-something foreign businessman and his four-year-old grandson just dance.

"Oh shit! Lost airs at 7:00 PM on CTV! 4:00 PM pacific… I could catch it at work on my laptop…"

[typing and clicking]

"Sling's software doesn't run on Tiger – super…"

Seven Horribly Hilarious Hackers
Bands: Cooler or Lamer at 20 than Green Day?
never forget


A good barometer of whether you, the reader, and I could be mates is Shane Meadows' film This Is England.

If you like This Is England, then we would probably click.

Production just began on a four-part television sequel to This Is England, set three years after the original.

All I can say at this point is that Milky is Alive, Combo Returns and Woody is now Climbing the Management ladder at Quick Save. [source]

Shane Meadows co-wrote This Is England '86 with Skins scribe Jack Thorne and will direct the third and fourth hours.

I'm cautiously excited.

This Is England '86 co-writer Jack Thorne is penning a film adaptation of Skins that will unite the first two casts of the television show.

Mega Rave

Governor Blagojevich, what did you think about Sinbad as a leader?

"Hey, we're going to Outback for lunch. Wanna come?"
"You don't want to support our troops?"
"I bought a magnet, didn't I?

"Speaking of which, what happened to yours?"


"Hey, we're going to Outback for lunch. Wanna come?"
"You don't want to support our troops? A portion of the proceeds…"
"…will go towards bailing out Outback's support of our troops. Why should I let fuckin' Outback appropriate my support? I can donate directly!"

"If you need help acquiring a million dollars to support our troops, you should be concerned with fixing your shitty food and service instead."

"Idea: Exploit our troops in order to support them."

"Hey, we're going to Outback for lunch. Wanna come?"
"Naw. I'm not that hungry."
"We can split an entrée…"

SXSW Geek T-Shirt Photo Essay
Beerland Doesn't Care About Your Shitty Blog
Chuck Klosterman salutes Pavement

Tournament Update

"I'm wide open. I can't believe it. But I haven't made a three-pointer in the second half and we're up by one and there's a lot of time left on the shot clock. If I miss this, they're gonna revoke my scholarship and escort me out of Cedar Falls. Ah, what the heck? I'm a senior." [source]

Villanova rarely doubled him.

"I get it. I'm a slow white guy, and I'm overweight. So maybe you don't respect me. But after I kill you the first half, what are you waiting for. Did he [Jay Wright] want me to have 40?"

"I should have been 16-for-16, to be honest," he said — to live up his nickname, Beast, which he has tattooed on the inside of his lip. [source]

Siobhan Magnus

While reading up on Murray State, I discovered that someone named a race horse "Radiohead"!

A Group II winner in England, Radiohead likely has enough graded earnings to make it into the Kentucky Derby. [source]

Saint Mary's mascot is faaaaabulous!

heart break city

I'll inoculate the world with the virus of my disillusionment

I forgot to note that March Sadness began Thursday on my side-blog.

"Is that a macaroni and cheese pizza? Hey, where's the nearest CiCi's Pizza?"


"Southern California? What about Buffalo Wild Wings?"

"Dublin. California."

"Far East Bay, like Chick-fil-A and Golden Corral and Sonic. Meh. We live in a sporting event restaurant advertiser dead zone."

"This map shows a Sonic in Hayward."

"WHAT? WHEN DID— How did I— Hayward. I can do Hayward…"

NBC's Buffalo (New York) affiliate pre-empted Community on Thursday to "carry a special that is important to the Western New York community" – a special on prostate cancer.

In the rest of New York, Community aired against the Marquette vs. Washington tournament basketball game.

Danny Pudi is a "huge, huge sports fan" whose "No. 1 thing is Marquette basketball."

Joel McHale played tight end for Washington and currently plays in an entertainment industry basketball league.

Ken Jeong "grew up a Carolina fan, went to Duke undergrad, and was a diehard Duke fan when in med school at UNC." He is also a Lakers fan who considers the 2004 Pistons his "most inspiring team in a long time."

Donald Glover:

I was really into Sailor Moon as a kid. I loved Sailor Mars. That was my thing. You know that weird teenage thing where you kind of dabble in, "What if you could make a cartoon real? Maybe she could be my girlfriend." It was sadness. [source]