Bright Lights, Big City

On our drive back from lunch, Owen interrogated me about CES.


"You are inordinately excited about CES. We're not press. I thought you've worked trade shows before? It sucks!"

O: CES coincides with the Adult Entertainment Expo, which I've always wanted to attend.
J: You've never been?
O: No… I'm married, remember?
J: Oh. Right. So just anime conventions, eh? And fun trade shows, of course.

On our walk toward the office, Owen shot two air jump shots.

First person to guess his race/ethnicity correctly wins ONE DOLLA!

Wikipedia's John Irving Recurring Theme Matrix

Recurring themes in Irving's work include New England, prostitutes, wrestling, Vienna, Iowa, bears and deadly accidents.

They Might Be Giants will perform Flood in its entirety at UCLA
The sporting world has gone Green Man

An OMGWTF Halloween

The planned quiet evening at home turns out to be not so quiet with a surprise visit from the DVD STORE OWNER and his entourage! It's passed [sic] midnight and the couple forgot to return the DVDs! The late fee must be paid for in blood! [source]

Enjoy it with a

bloody brain shooter and an artisan

meat hand.

The OMGWTFDVD Collection

White Man in Hammersmith Palais

I want to see Dexter tell Rita everything.

Other than being arrested at 18 for burglarizing the home of an ex-girlfriend, George P. Bush appears to have all the right credentials to carry the Bush legacy well into the future. [source]

What's a little breaking and entering? Or should I say allanamiento de morada?

The Plan:
"Trick or treat!"
"Oh how cute! Socialists! Buy your own fuckin' candy. NO HANDOUTS!" [slams door]

At Power 99's Powerhouse concert Jay-Z dedicated "99 Problems" to Michael Vick, who was backstage. [source]

What We're All Thinking: The Flirty Girl Fitness Pole (»2:08) is a stripper pole.

"Telescopic" and "explosion" are not words I'd associate with mascara.

Michael Jackson told his team he wanted to re-create Victoria Falls on stage. [source]

Victoria Falls

I want an NSF grant to find what percentage of men would choose the short urinal over the tall urinal. [source]

A more interesting study would be short urinal versus tall trough.

Throwdown's current line-up contains no original members. Throwdown today is basically a Throwdown cover band.

At least Guns N' Roses features Axl.

I'm-a form another band. We'll call ourselves The Clash.

Band Name Idea: The Binford Tools.

Chris Farley Direct TV Ad: Too Soon?
headline of the year

And who are you supposed to be?

Over the weekend, I attended the wedding of a childhood family friend — Google lawyers in love.

Helen was the "mature" one in our mutual circle — when we saw Robin Hood: Men in Tights at a cineplex, she ditched us to see The Secret Garden — so I was flabbergasted when the wedding officiant donned a viking helmet, prayed to Thor, and ordered the groom to mix a "unity martini."

A comedy wedding!

While waiting for the ceremony to begin, I heard string instrumental covers of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and Linkin Park's "In the End."

The couple's first dance ended as a Bollywood dance number.

Attention DJs: You cannot dance to "Bizarre Love Triangle."

Two cakes decorated as unopened candy (a Snickers bar and a Kit Kat bar) sat opposite the wedding cake for no apparent reason.

I see a white guy with a fauxhawk at every wedding I attend.

No guy ever takes off a shirt like that.
The Wieners Circle

Sabor Gigante

Largest guacamole serving-world record (4,114 pounds) set by Miami-Dade students

Also set by Miami-Dade students? The world record for largest amount of brown guacamole.

The students surpassed the previous world record for the largest guacamole serving of 4,011 pounds, set in 2007 by the Mexican Avocado Industry

Food Network Challenge: Guacamole World Record!

—disney guacamole

I see no record for world's largest tortilla chip. Fry it in an Olympic-size pool…

Why isn't Food World Records a television show? Tell me you wouldn't tune in for absurdity like this:

World's Largest Burger

Kevin on Top Chef = Opie on Sons of Anarchy.

Milksteak Recipe
El Niño

Class of 2000

Our favourite songs. One per year.

Side A
(curated by Jon)

1. Radiohead – "The National Anthem"

It was between this and "Bye Bye Bye."

To honour "The National Anthem" is to honour its sublime bass riff, which Thom Yorke reportedly composed at age 16.

Like the melodic hook of Club Nouveau's "Why You Treat Me So Bad," the force is strong in said bass riff, and Radiohead sounds intent on testing it.

"Can you handle this?" the band asks, before issuing a cacophonous assault of brass free-jazz, wailing and ondes Martenotics.

"Effortlessly," the bass riff replies. "Is that all you got?"

Ben: Good call, but I'm going to have to side with the p-dorks.

Side B
(curated by DJ Ben)

1. Outkast – "B.O.B."

"Bombs Over Baghdad" is one of my favorite songs ever. I've spent hours debating to myself whose verse is better. For years, I was with Andre, but in the last six months, I made the switch to Big Boi.

Jon: "B.O.B" is half a good song. Its verse-less second half is largely forgettable.

Side A
1. Radiohead – "The National Anthem"
2. 2001
3. 2002
4. 2003
5. 2004
6. 2005
7. 2006
8. 2007
9. 2008
10. 2009

Side B
1. Outkast – "B.O.B."
2. 2001
3. 2002
4. 2003
5. 2004
6. 2005
7. 2006
8. 2007
9. 2008
10. 2009


I could write the best book on underage tragedy

The Simpsons' first Treehouse of Horror episode pre-dates the births of current college sophomores.

Teevee time with B's children:

"I want Olivia!"

"I want Olivia!"

"I want Olivia!"

Who is Olivia?"

"I want Olivia or Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!"

Oh. She's a children's show.

Olivia [is] a hyper-active piglet who tests her mother's patience by belting out songs, drawing on walls and dancing. [source]

"You don't like Wonder Pets? What about this ad for an erectile dysfunction drug?"

Fantastic Mr. Fox reminds me of the film adaptation of James and the Giant Peach, which lost money for Disney.

"A film by Wes Anderson" is no longer a selling point, and it's a children's film, no less.

An animated one.

Written by Noah Baumbach (Margot at the Wedding).

Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco outgrossed James and the Giant Peach.

Robert Zemeckis seems content with making lame performance capture films for the rest of his life. He's the George Lucas of Eddie Murphys.

The word "Exit" is foreign to Vancouver's public transit signage.
Avoidance of Works
not work safe, rofl….


Current Philippine Basketball Association Teams:

Barako Bull Energy Boosters
Burger King Whoppers
Coca-Cola Tigers
Purefoods Tender Juicy Giants
Rain or Shine Elasto Painters
San Miguel Beermen
Santa Lucia Realtors
Talk 'N Text Tropang Texters

It's like Pinoy BASEketball.

All PBA teams are owned by corporations.

Defunct teams include the Great Taste Coffee Makers and the Toyota Super Corollas.

Wiki » BASEketball » BASEketball teams:

San Francisco Ferries
The word "Ferries" is meant to be a play on "fairies," a slang term sometimes used to refer to "homosexuals."

It's a "homophone."

Great Romances of the 20th Century

The line-up for Bridge School Benefit XXIII:

No Doubt
Chris Martin
Sheryl Crow
Fleet Foxes
Gavin Rossdale
Monsters of Folk
Jimmy Buffett
Adam Sandler
Neil Young

Mesuspects some of the performers weren't on the booker's wish list.

I'm tempted to attend just to witness the traditional show-closing all-star jam. Neil Young feat. Gwen Stefani, Wolfmother, M. Ward and Adam Sandler!

related: The Flaming Lips reportedly recorded a cover version of Dark Side of the Moon that includes contributions from Henry Rollins and Peaches