"Mad About You." "No." "Frasier." "Heck no." "Seinfeld." "Definitely. Everyone likes Seinfeld. Even my father." "Friends." "Hmm… Do I think black people like Friends…?" "Circle of Life" (Modern Family) "Wise Up" (Community) "Runaway Train" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) Random musical references = guaranteed lulz….

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At the post office today, I discovered Gluguls – "alien glue sticks from another world" who "love to have exciting adventures with their kid-owners." Each Glugul glue stick "has its own special power." For example, one can glue shit together. Another can stick shit together….

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» Across the street from my hotel is a Christian mission beside a gay strip club. To reduce the volume of plastic bags and encourage the use of reusable bags/bins, retailers in the City of Toronto will be required to charge a minimum of 5…

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"That's all?" "How long have you been working there?" "Two years and four months." "And you've never asked for a raise?" "Am I supposed to? I thought…" "Do you receive any benefits?" "No. Well, paid vacation. It's a small company." "Ask for a raise." "Yes,…

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My bags were thoroughly searched thrice at Pearson. Apparently, I look like a drug trafficker. Look, fuckhead, if I wanted to transport Canadian pot to California, I would transport it from British Columbia, not Toronto! Moreover, if I was transporting pot, I wouldn't transport it…

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