Lemonade

"That's all?"

"How long have you been working there?"
"Two years and four months."
"And you've never asked for a raise?"
"Am I supposed to? I thought…"
"Do you receive any benefits?"
"No. Well, paid vacation. It's a small company."

"Ask for a raise."
"Yes, mother."


"You want a raise? In this economy?"
"You just hired two more employees."
"Right, and they're not earning that much more than you."
"Their starting salaries are higher than mine?"
"Sid has more experience than you and two master's degrees. Russ majored in engineering and holds several technical certifications. You? Anyone can do your job!"

"Like Russ, who's assuming half of my previous job duties."
"He'll also be doing more…analytical stuff."

"Listen, Jon, you're my guy. If you want to do that stuff, I'll use you over anyone else."

[pause]

"Well, I can't say 'yes' now, can I?"


—he thinks i'm complacent
—he's a businessman. you've got to show your boss that you're willing to do more difficult work and be motivated about it, proactive, even if it feels incredibly cliche
—he's not incorrect though
—i'm not keen on composing press releases or talking to vendors

—i contemplated getting myself fired
—don't leave your job
—its fucked up out here
—10% unemployment rate is bullshit, its much much higher

—can you master in engineering without majoring in it?
—probably not
—i know that you can't get a masters in finance without having a business major
—so i'd assume engineering is the same way, and i mean there is a whole 4 year process of learning engineering concepts and reading diagrams and stuff
—that you've missed

—oh the humanities…


—quit and get a cool internship
—and then hopefully work from there

—the 40-year-old intern
—unpaid intern
—i just became the mayor of pathetic on @foursquare

8 Comments

  1. Ryan McKern 22 Sep 09 at 10:21

    The last time I heard something analogous to "You? Anyone can do your job!", I put in my two-weeks notice on the spot. That's insulting and undignified in the extreme, and it's not something anyone should ever take from any boss. Seriously, you're in an abusive relationship with work, and you need to get out.

    Reply
  2. danhell 22 Sep 09 at 12:42

    I AGREE. dammit jon.

    Reply
  3. Ammo 22 Sep 09 at 13:46

    i'd lead with my elbows!

    Reply
  4. Aaron 22 Sep 09 at 13:52

    Set fire to the building. It worked in Office Space.

    Reply
  5. L 22 Sep 09 at 17:32

    I got a b.s. in math and going for m.s. in fiance. A mba would be easier, but I would be a crappy manager that just yells at people for being dumb at meetings. After that masters, I think of getting a general masters in engineering. My company is paying for the schooling, so the school doesn't really care about my background as long as the bills get paid.

    Reply
  6. josh 22 Sep 09 at 18:57

    he said that? dude, either be happy to master writing pres releases and talking to vendors (not that hard), or tell him to kiss your balls.

    Reply

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