Previously on Adam Riff:
"A spy camera. While in town, I want to film myself entering barbershops and saying, 'Excuse me, sir, I need a haircut if you ain't too busy, you old Italian son-of-a-bitch prick barber!'"
"I scouted two barbershops. The barbers inside were Arab. I couldn't."
"'You Arab prick?' No!"
Night one at my hotel, my room lost power. Night two at my hotel, a false fire alarm rang out.
Hotel bedding confounds me. Why so many decorative pillows? What is the point of this large cylindrical one? Why so many layers? Is this a sheet or a blanket? If I'm supposed to sleep under this…sheet, why is it tucked in so tightly? I feel like I'm sleeping in a condom!
I shared the hotel with a Veterans of Foreign Wars convention, which evoked the sports memorabilia show in The Wrestler.
In Michigan, you can order a combination bumper sticker/license plate. For example:
Yes! Save the lighthouses!
This one's a bit creepy.
Evidently, Indiana offers combination bumper sticker/license plates too. In the parking lot of my hotel:
Uh…separation of church and state?
I forgot how astoundingly gigantic big box stores in the midwest are. The Meijer in Highland, Indiana should be one of the wonders of the world.
Sampling Michigan cuisine.
Mall food court logic: Ethnic people serving food of the same ethnicity legitimizes the food in the eyes of patrons.
Idea: Rent a food court for a day and mess with patron expectations. Black people work at the Japanese eatery. Chinese people at the Greek eatery. Italian people at the Indian eatery.