Rain Dogs

In retrospect, the soundtrack for Judgment Night is kind of unbelievable.

Dinosaur Jr. and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien?

Sonic Youth and Cypress Hill?


I'm surprised that more soundtrack supervisors haven't arranged similar genre marriages.

The Spawn soundtrack fused rock and electronica, and the Blade II soundtrack fused hip-hop and electronica.

What about a soundtrack pairing hip-hop and indie rock artists a la The Hood Internet? Flo Rida and Sufjan Stevens collaborate on a song. Are you not intrigued?

This generation deserves its own Judgment Night soundtrack.

At tomorrow's Hoodwink event, artists performing at this weekend's Bamboozle festival will whet appetites with cover sets.

Did Avril release enough recognizable material to fill 30 minutes?

I know what my band (The Blond Jews) would perform if we were participating:

Shit… Hoodwink 2010 Idea: Bands cover soundtracks.

My second choice would be the soundtrack for Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy.

"I just wanna say……FUCK happy!"

Jason Statham Movie Stipulations

» If he steps within 50 feet of the villain, he'll set off a bomb implanted in his chest.

» He must defeat the villain without the use of his trigger fingers. The villain severed his index fingers and he wants them back.

» When he loses an erection, he loses his sight too.

» He must power his artificial heart manually with a Skip It that's affixed to his dominant leg.

» The villain infects him with a paralytic disease which, without the antidote, he can only suppress with breast milk.

South Korean scientists clone four glow-in-the-dark beagles
Ed Hardy wine at Whole Foods


Motown and Darius work in a morgue, but the two dream of bigger and better things. If only they could win the $25,000 prize that will go to the winners of the upcoming 3-on-3 Streetball Tournament.

One night, they find their colleague Franklin using the battery of Motown's Gremlin to bring to life a monstrous dead man (Bob Sapp) whose heart Franklin has just replaced.

That 3-on-3 basketball tournament isn't looking so bad…if they can just get their new mutant friend to play basketball! [source]

Frankenhood looks like Shrek.

The OMGWTFDVD Collection
This Blockbuster Has Pretty Much Given Up

Clap Hands

I used to imitate Brad Pitt's whiny "What's in the box?" at the end of Se7en.

"What's in the box? What's in the booooox?!"

I found it blended well with Tony Micelli and The Fonz.

"Hey, Angela! What's in the box? What's in the booooox?! Ayyy!"

Another standby of mine is Benicio Del Toro's cool "If you cross this line…" in the trailer for The Hunted (I've never seen the film).

My current favourite quote is "DO IT!!!"

I excerpted a scene from Donkey Punch last year in which Alan Rickman's God-son goads his buddy into donkey-punching a girl.

Off-camera, he utters "Do it. Do it." and then unexpectedly shouts "DO IT!!!"

Punch. Dead girl.

"DO IT!!!"

My boss probably suspects I've developed Tourette's.

I whisper-blurt it out…


Last Man Standing

This text will be replaced

related: on sunday's episode of bully beatdown, the bully won.

Anywhere I Lay My Head

The front page of the entertainment section of Sunday's World Journal:

"Hugh Jackman: I am not gay"

While re-reading an old issue of Entertainment Weekly, I learned that Steve Martin was originally slated to play the more sedate "husband" Albert in The Birdcage and Robin Williams would have been the "wife."

Over the weekend, I saw Bob Goldthwait's latest film World's Greatest Dad.

Robin Williams plays Lance, a hapless aspiring writer/high school poetry teacher with a rude idiot loser son (Kyle) who accidentally dies while auto-erotically asphyxiating himself. Before calling 911, Lance hangs Kyle upright and earnestly crafts a suicide note to spare his son ignominy. When the paper at Lance's school publishes the note, however, it impacts students and faculty mightily, and he capitalizes.

World's Greatest Dad is the second film I've seen that features auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Who can forget Ziggy on The Wire masturbating to orgasm for reals with a belt around his neck in Ken Park?

In the same March 15, 1996 issue of Entertainment Weekly, Nicolas Cage discusses his tough thug role in Kiss of Death:

The character was written as an asthmatic, which is part of why I wanted to make the movie. My son had to deal with asthma, and I wanted to play an asthmatic character who was physically strong.


Michael Caine plays a vigilante in his latest film, while Nicolas Cage plays a sorcerer.

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

The creator of Gossip Girl is remaking Bright Lights, Big City.

Better Idea: A remake of Vampire's Kiss set it in the world of Gossip Girl.

The CW plans to add an update of Melrose Place and a Gossip Girl spin-off next season.

Just fold already!

Diamonds and Gold

I was looking at a map of San Francisco and saw Coit Tower and thought, "Coit Tower is a lame tourist attraction."

Then: "Towers are lame tourist attractions."

"That's it? A view?"
"You can eat too…"

Idea: A tower topped with an aquarium. Maintenance would be problematic, but consider the prestige. Where else can you see a shark swimming 500 metres above the ground? Penguins in the sky!

Ghosts [swoon]

Jockey Full of Bourbon

Comedy Strip Idea: Something involving Kevin Garnett's bench histrionics – Kevin Garnett watches his daughter compete in the National Spelling Bee.

The opposite of Garnett:

Am I doing it right?

Next time, I want to see Turkoglu grab his crotch.

I wonder if the Red Sox can outdraw the entire NL East this season.

The Mets can't fill expensive seats, the Nats and Marlins can't fill any seats, and the Braves are already offering seats for $1.

Fuck it, Deadspin re-blogs galore!

Quadruple Amputee Loses MMA Match