1. At the airport, I bought a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast.
"It'll be ready in five minutes."
Five minutes? I thought. To toast a bagel and spread cream cheese?
Five minutes later, I received a toasted bagel with a plastic knife and a packet of cream cheese.
2. As if Danny Gans isn't cheesy enough, I saw him on the sides and back of a shuttle bus wearing a shirt that read: "The voices in my head tell me what to do."
3. Fox News wants to feature my company's products on air.
4. This year, Crumpler brought promotional toilet paper:
One of the numbers should denote the colour red.
5. At dinner, I saw an indie emo sitting at one end of the sushi bar by himself quietly eating a spinach salad. On a motivational poster, that image would be captioned "SAD."