Date Archives March 2009

Papa Boner

Oof. Poker in HD is why people hate America. I did not know that Women's Tournament bracket pools existed. Heh. The winner of ESPN's Men's Tournament pool receives more money than the winner of the Women's pool. Disney is negotiating to take an equity stake…

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Wordplay

Greg Paulus, you will be missed. Should GM continue contributing to collegiate scholarship funds? Chevrolet's scholarship program burns $2000 per college basketball game, and $128,000 on the NCAA DI tournament alone. Add another $1000 for the Pontiac game-changing performance of the tournament. Every time I…

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Control

I just learned about Cold Stone's ice cream cupcakes. Cold Stone's ice cream is too milky for my taste, but a chocolate shell, cake, ice cream, frosting and a topping? [drools] Sometime last fall, I inexplicably developed a sweet tooth, one which has since ballooned…

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Undeclared

I splashed water on my face and looked in the mirror. You'll be 27 soon, Jon. 27 and complacent. With a quiet life in suburbia and an unchallenging job. 27 and complacent with being complacent. Ambitious but aimless. Interested in everything, passionate about nothing. "Where…

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Death Nell

• Famous Names Rewritten in a World Greatly Influenced by the Main Character of a 1982 Disney Movie • BOB DYLAN + STINKY PORT-O-POTTY = HEADLINE WRITER'S DREAM • Obama Sez! • buying a pinata • The cookie-cutter shark • Zombie attacks Japanese children