Last week, I caught a bit of College Football Live on ESPN. The gang read ESPN.com reader-submitted "Tebowisms," which are basically Chuck Norris facts about Tim Tebow.

Over the weekend, WWE.com's front page featured randomized "Reality Checks," which are basically Chuck Norris facts about Vince McMahon.

This is like trying to brand "yo mama" jokes.

"Chuck Norris is so fat, he eats Wheat Thicks!" Same difference.

On Monday, Petros and Money filled in for Jim Rome on his radio show. Whilst listening, I lollered at the thought of "Fatros Fapadakis."

I am 10 years old.

My parents departed for Taiwan on Christmas Eve. My mother was supposed to return with my father on January 7, but she extended her trip until the 22nd.

I learned why on Monday.

She enrolled in a class on digital photography.

[pause]

At a sushi bar on Monday:

"Our special tonight is fresh sea urchin."
"Sea urchin?"
"It's very fresh!"

"Try this."
"A deep-fried horse mackerel skeleton?"
"Eat it like a chip!"

"For you, on the house!"
"What is it?"
"A seared fish gill flap."

"$136?"

top five of the now:
1. jon theodore
2. kid koala
3. andrew mcmahon
4. arturo sandoval
5. mike watt