It's that time of year again. Remember the tried and true formula: experience + resonance = fantastic film.
5. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
3. Paul Blart: Mall Cop
2. Hotel for Dogs
1. Bride Wars
Certain movies about losers have a special, desperately moving appeal. By showing us people whose lives have fallen dramatically short of their dreams, they speak to and for all of us. Gary Winick's Bride Wars, with Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson as dueling bridezillas, touches a chord in audiences the way Cinema Paradiso and The Real Cancun did. It has that kind of lyrical humanity.
You have resorted to communicating your displeasure in a number of passive-aggressive ways. These include glaring at the employee when he looks away and providing somewhat curt burrito-filling instructions in an apparent hope that your cold tone of voice will make him realize that a terrible mistake has been committed.
I've stewed similarly over portions of chicken, particularly when I order tacos.
"What is that? Type 1 on the Bristol Stool Scale? You gave the guy in front of me a heaping scoop! This is un-egalitarian! I'm paying the same price for tacos!"
"Is that an air pocket in my container of guacamole?"
Prolonged frowning once scored me free soda pop.
Women scooping chocolate ice cream also exasperate me.
If you know that part of your job involves scooping chocolate ice cream and that chocolate ice cream is difficult to scoop, do some forearm curls!
"What is that? I'm paying for a scoop of ice cream, not a number! You don't get to round up! How would you like it if you had breast cancer and I scooped 'plenty' of the tumor out?"
"Get FREE chips and salsa when you buy anything* from our FIESTA PLATTER MENU."
* Does not include chips and salsa.
"Do the chips and salsa come with chips and salsa?"
Get FREE rice when you buy anything from our NIGIRI SUSHI MENU.
Wait, the offer ends February 14?
"Happy Valentine's Day."
"Chips and salsa? You shouldn't have!"
Jason Montes, 33, was found dead by police at the home of his estranged wife. His wife was fatally wounded at the location. Montes had called a friend to say he had shot his wife and planned to kill himself. [source]
Jason was my supervisor at Hüdson. I sat across from him. His then-girlfriend joined us one time for lunch.
Best Picture The Dark Knight Gran Torino Revolutionary Road Wall-E The Wrestler
Christopher Nolan » The Dark Knight
Clint Eastwood » Gran Torino
Sam Mendes » Revolutionary Road
Andrew Stanton » Wall-E
Darren Aronofsky » The Wrestler
Benicio Del Toro » Che
Clint Eastwood » Gran Torino
Colin Farrell » In Bruges
Leonardo DiCaprio » Revolutionary Road
Josh Brolin » W.
Cate Blanchett » The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Sally Hawkins » Happy-Go-Lucky
Kristin Scott Thomas » I've Loved You So Long
Kate Winslet » Revolutionary Road
Michelle Williams » Wendy and Lucy
Best Supporting Actor
Dev Patel » Slumdog Millionaire
Michael Sheen » Frost/Nixon
James Franco » Milk
Best Supporting Actress
Debra Winger » Rachel Getting Married
Rosemarie DeWitt » Rachel Getting Married
Freida Pinto » Slumdog Millionaire
"Get Married on MySpace," a new web reality series, will allow one lucky couple to receive the wedding of their dreams in exchange for letting the MySpace community plan every step and detail of the wedding. [source]
One lucky couple!
The real money is in "Get Married on 4chan."
"Get Married on GAF"?
If you google "Wolverine," the fifth Image Search result is:
His claw looks more like a garden cultivator.
"Okay, now what?"
"Stick it through your nasal septum!"