…unless you're unemployed, stranded, homeless, without power, terminally ill, Jdimytai Damour, a newspaper, a bank, abandoned at a hospital in Nebraska, the people of Zimbabwe, Chrysler, Ford, GM, Toyota, the UAW, OPEC, the Detroit Lions, the Golden State Warriors, Tommy Tuberville, Billy Packer, O.J. Simpson, Maurice Clarett, the Iraqi shoe-thrower, Rod Blagojevich, Bernie Madoff's clients, Harvey Weinstein, the producers of Delgo, Sam on Worst Week, Iceland, Midway Games or VHS.
Tomorrow: Adam Riff's 12 Hours of Christmas, 3:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. PST
Thursday: our Christmas Day megaton
• some of Roger Ebert's favorite lines from old reviews
• Peter, I Think We Just Saved McDonald's From Certain Death
• The Ludacris-Proximity Sadness Meter
• iBoobs on iPhone
• haha so many teens jackin it to this