The Top 5 Fight Scenes of 2008

One more…

We close with my favourite batch of clips, and our first foray into flash video.

5. Rαndy "The Rαm" Rοbinson vs. Necrο Butcher » The Wrεstler
All potatoes, no meat.

4. Dale and Saul vs. Red » Pineapple Express

3. The Hυlk vs. Abοmination » The Incrεdible Hυlk
It's surprisingly brutal for computer animation.

2. Sammo Hung vs. Wu Jing » Fatal Move
drew: dude this fight is crazy

1. (tie) Ip Man vs. 10 Black Belts » Ip Man
No, Drew, this fight is crazy.

1. (tie) Ip Man vs. Jap Gen. » Ip Man

The Top 5 Deaths of 2008
The 10 Most Memorable Sex Scenes of 2008
The Top 5 Action Sequences of 2008

All previous clips should be viewable.

The Top 5 Action Sequences of 2008

The sex scenes cause problems every year.

Last year:

are u xxy?

i am ….and so was wondering what your interest was and is…would love to talk if our interests are mutual!

happy new year!


If I could afford the bandwidth, I'd use my own flash video player.

But I digress.

Lights, camera…

5. Man in the Box » The Dark Knight
The trailer spoiled the truck flip, but it still induced awe. The Bat-Pod's subsequent wall turn is the cherry on top.

4. Cats and Mouse » The Good, The Bad, The Weird
As you'll see in clip 1 too, Asian filmmakers couldn't care less about the welfare of horses.

I love the music and the shot at 4:34.

3. "You killed my mother. Prepare to die." » Chocolate
The scene doesn't begin until 1:00, but enjoy the appetizer.

2. Factory Rampage » Wanted
This is the best quality clip I could find.

It reminds me of Equilibrium.

1. Chinky Chinky Bang Bang » The Warlords
Number one by a kilometer. At 5:45, witness my favourite action moment of the year.

Ong Bak 2 features a sensational drunken fight and a set piece on and around an elephant, but decent video was not available at press time.

The Top 5 Deaths of 2008
The 10 Most Memorable Sex Scenes of 2008

Weary Saints

"My little guy loves getting Walmart gift cards."


Number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9…

On January 4, Maynard James Keenan will sign bottles of his wine at my local Whole Foods Market.

And I thought Mick Fleetwood signing bottles of wine at Costco was surreal.

Aged whine that lingers on the palate.

Sometimes while running, I'll pass a house being remodeled with a portapotty in its driveway.

What is the proper etiquette for using a portapotty in someone else's driveway?

Technically, it's a public restroom.

But it's on private property.

But the portapotty itself is rented. The owner of the house does not own the portapotty.

Restore the Jeezy avatar, Google!

College basketball news and notes:

Jon Brockman cut his left thumb as he used a hunting knife to open a particularly well-wrapped gift. Word is the gift was a hatchet. [source]

John Bryant has had seven double-doubles for the Broncos this season. This comes after he was stabbed in the back in the offseason. [source]

The regular season begins on Friday against Obama's brother-in-law.

What is Doug Gottlieb's salary on espn?
Think Blade, TruBlood, Twilight, Lost Boys- but then go outside the box
It tells a story

Everybody needs a little devastation

Against my better judgment, I visited The Mall on Friday.

I was looking for a plain black hoodie with a white zipper. I found one, but it was a size too small.

In the food court, in almost every stroller I saw sat a child too big for a stroller. It was like Wall-E: The Early Years.

"Hey, little girl."
"You like riding in a stroller?"
"Cut her legs off."

I waited for a fish burrito beside a grandmother eating McDonald's with her granddaughter.

"Hey, little girl."
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I dunno…"
"Nothing like your irresponsible grandma, I hope."

I love The Mall.

Children never question why Santa Claus is at a shopping mall a week or two before the busiest day of his year.

If I saw my accountant at a mall on April 8, I'd be suspicious.

"Santa's here to evaluate children one last time before finalizing his lists. It's like the NFL Combine!"

Merry Christmas From Yahoo! Answers
This toy is available at the dollar store, Daiso
Urinal Forehead Support

Heart Songs

The ninth annual Adam Riff™ audio almanac is a two-course meal.

First Course: Our Original Recipe (1:18:55)
» download
» mirror

Second Course: Ben's Extra Crispy Mix (30:50)
» download
» mirror

Please enjoy gaplessly, normalize as you please and choose your own album cover:
» caviar cracker
» crème brûlée
» corndog

Thanks to Jon Wilcox for indulging my artwork ideas.

Track listings behind the cut.

Continue reading »

The 12 Hours of Christmas: Hour 11

presented by Paul Blart: Mall Cop, in theatres January 16

In the eleventh hour of Christmas, my true love recommended I see:

this movie on the 16th of January

(trailer courtesy of Paul Blart: Mall Cop, in theatres January 16)

The Worst Lyrics of 2008
Worst Sports Christmas Presents Ever
Chinese Girl Has Basketball For Legs
Midwesterners Love Their Cold

The 12 Hours of Christmas: Hour 7

presented by Paul Blart: Mall Cop, in theatres January 16

In the seventh hour of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

I work as a Santee Claus
at a well known department store called Ross.

I'm what you call a pedophile,
infatuated with child after young child.

I don't mind the long lines and the children's cries
their need of something gives me a warm fuzzy high.

the only way I can feed my addiction is children on my lap, giving me that erection.

I'm a jolly old man with a secret:
it's not the kid's piss that has me wet.

a sample of Steven's poetry