I typed for miles

Thanksgiving revelation 1: My father saw W. at a cinema.

Thanksgiving revelation 2: My parents voted for Warren Sapp on Dancing with the Stars.

Thanksgiving revelation 3: My brother develops stress rashes.

I didn't work on Black Friday, but many gardeners did.

ESPN relegated Purdue vs. Oklahoma to ESPN2 in order to broadcast Duquesne vs. Duke.

Does Zac Robinson wear eyeliner?

What kind of name is "Jaybo"?

The Many Faces of Axl Rose
Female Bodybuilders
Kick the Burger

Random thoughts by BEN!

– Apparently Rivers Cuomo co-wrote a song with Aly & AJ. For some reason, I feel like this will be the best song he's written since the Green Album.

– When watching Aaron's video eating the brownie out of the toilet, all I could think was: "Wait, so did he clean the toilet first? Because my toilet bowl is scarred by the shits I take."

– I'm amazed when I DJ and I get requests for "Low" by Flo Rida. I haven't played it in about 8 months, and I don't actually plan on playing it ever again. I mean… you people can't get over it? These are the same people who request "It's Your Birthday" when they mean "In Da Club". I want to punch people who ask for "It's Your Birthday". I'm not out of line here, I don't think – you can argue that "In Da Club" is the biggest song of any genre since 2000. Can you think of one that is as big? 50 will never, ever, ever top that song.

– I am renting out my house for the Obama Inauguration. Why the fuck not, right? I'd rather just crash in Baltimore for a few days and make some money.

– Can Jim Jones just fucking die already? Jesus fuck, how doesn't he get shot? He's maybe the worst MC in the history of rap. And that includes Bart Simpson on the classic "Deep Deep Trouble". Even MC Scat Cat wasn't this awful. AND he's trying to feud with Jay-Z? This is like Karim Garcia and Pedro Martinez? "Who is Karim Garcia?"

Top Chef 5-3

Forcing cheftestants to use Swanson broth is just cruel.

Of course Nate loved the vegan stuffing! Of course!

I wonder what Pat Smear thought. He was reportedly touring with the Foo Fighters when the episode was filmed.

At Safeway, I discovered that Dr. Pepper is only available in 8-packs now.

The packaging claims that 8-packs are a better value, but four 8-packs of Dr. Pepper cost $10, while four 12-packs of Coke cost $12.

I blame Guns N' Roses.

Generic Quarterback Namer
Sons of Anarchy: Kurt Sutter Q&A

Flashing Lights

Laura Bush is shopping a memoir.

Because she has so much to say.

The book industry will sign memoir deals with anyone.

Miley Cyrus is writing a memoir. Kelly Osbourne is writing an "inspirational" one. Andy Taylor published his memoir in September. Yes, the former guitarist for Duran Duran.

Reading may be better than watching television, but television is definitely better than memoirs.

Also: E! True Hollywood Stories don't increase landfills.

Alan Colmes is leaving Hannity and Colmes.

Two words: Danity Colmes.

Hey, Aubrey and D. left the "band" last month!

The Vice Guide to Eating in Los Angeles

Let's lethalize our slingshots and swallow propane

—i saw twilight
—ive never been so horny/sexually frustrated during a movie in my life
—i couldnt belive it
—the vampire guy was seriously so hot
—even my lesbian friend was like 'i wanna fuck him'
—everyone in the theater
—was dying
—highly recommend

I felt similarly frustrated during Lars and the Real Girl.

Imagine if Robert Pattinson was one of Oprah's favourite things.

Boy's Soul


"An edge-of-your-seat thriller."

"A crowning achievement."

"A promising premise that devolves into a series of poor-taste gags."

"Witness the resurrection of Mickey Rourke."

26-Year-Old To See Every Asshole He Ever Went To High School With On Night Before Thanksgiving
White Castle Turkey Stuffing

Earth, Wind and Heart

is the new

Every time you use a Visa card, you will automatically be entered for a chance to attend Super Bowl XLIII, the 2009 NFL Pro Bowl and a 2009 NFL Playoff game.

Every time you use a Citi card, you will automatically be entered for a chance to join Nickelback on tour.

No wonder Citigroup needs rescuing.

Every girl Dan tries to sleep with should see that [footage] of him marching. [source]

Next week, he has to dance.

My mother wants a turkey. My father wants a rack of lamb. I proposed stuffing a turkey with lamb.

My brother wants to bake a pie. I proposed baking a lamb pie.

Lamb Berry sauce.

Candied lamb.

John Oates is developing an animated series, J-Stache, in which he provides the voice of his family-man self, and comedian Dave Attell voices his evil mustache.

"I'm trying to lead the good life and leave all that rock 'n' roll craziness behind, but the mustache is trying to drag me back into it. There's also a cult of mustachioed entertainers." [source]


KROQ announced the line-up for its Almost Acoustic Christmas and…

Someone at KROQ sure loves Rise Against.

Acoustic Christmas 08.
Weenie Roast 08.
Acoustic Christmas 07.
Weenie Roast 07.

—the killers:
—acoustic christmas 08
—acoustic christmas 07
—acoustic christmas 06
—acoustic christmas 04
—weenie roast 07
—weenie roast 05
—weenie roast 04
—invasion 04
—3 consecutive christmases
—trifecta in 04

—okay okay!
—they are whore!
—rise against? merely dancer

I wonder how people would react if Dick Vitale was murdered.

This video is just incredible. Like, "Ruff Ryders Anthem" meets the first ten minutes of the Zack Snyder Dawn of the Dead remake, except with more dry ice and a part where people chase emus. [source]

How to Cross the Street in Dorchester
"Quantum of Solace": Backstories

Or am I?

1. Jason Alexander. LULZ.

"I love this subgenre of entertainment – former wacky actors who appear on hourlong dramas as psycho-killers, complete with the ad with the voice-over, 'Martin Short in a role so shocking… RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES.'"

Indulge us, Alan Thicke!

2. FX is developing "AR2," a drama about a group of Michigan youths who spark a second American Revolution.

related: the failed second revolution of a group of Michigan youths

3. I was disappointed to learn that the film adaptation of Youth in Revolt, a book I associate with Northern California – Oakland, Mill Valley, Ukiah, Berkeley – was shot in Michigan – Royal Oak, Detroit, Ann Arbor, Interlochen, et al.

I suppose Royal Oak can pass for Oakland.

4. Internet Obama amazingness is never going to end.

5. I hope his vampire make-up is just over-Photoshopped.

He looks like Kyle XY as a corpse with pinkeye.

6. Indian man dies in pie-eating contest

7. Actor Rhys Ifans has been blamed for a craze of students tipping vodka in their eyes to get drunk faster.

8. "George Foreman's Lean Mean Fryer uses centrifugal force to literally spin the added fat and oil off your food."
For people who dab pizza with a napkin.

9. "It's the perfect holiday gift."

10. I got married last weekend [pics]

Motel of the White Locust

ESPN's New Year's Eve will return with two thrilling events.

Maddison will attempt to ascend with his bike more than 120 feet high to land on the top of the 96-foot-high replica Arc de Triomphe in front of the Paris Las Vegas Hotel.

Upon completing the jump, he will then freefall 50 feet off the Arc to a ramp.

He will then consume ten gallons of milk and perform with the Bellagio fountains.

Millen will seek to accomplish the first back flip of an off-road truck. [source]

Idea: A reality series inspired by all the crazy stunt and obstacle course ads for trucks. Every year, new models compete.

On Quantum of Solace:

» My favourite part is the typography in the title sequence.

» "Naw, it's cool if you abandon my corpse in a Bolivian dumpster. I don't care."

» During the boat chase, I pondered the lack of memorable boat chases.

1. Face/Off

While researching evidence to argue that boat chases are lame, I re-discovered the boat chase in The World Is Not Enough, which may be the least exciting boat chase ever.

Slightly Stoopid's song "2 AM" is SO the boat chase in The World Is Not Enough.

New slang.

musicians try to play their own music in Rock Band and Guitar Hero
Sean Hannity presents The Perfect Christmas Gift!