Dirty Water

It was either magic or Brett Favre.

Today: The Amazing Johnathan


"Over the weekend, I saw this magician on Comedy Central swig Windex from the bottle. It looked cool… Let me see the script."

Señora Kaye assigned a group video project for Spanish III class.

The night before the shoot, I emptied a bottle of Windex and spent approximately 30 minutes sanitizing it. Lather, scrub, rinse, repeat.

*sniff*

Fuck. I can't get rid of the chemical smell.

Don't worry, Jon. The bottle's clean.

I filled the Windex bottle with water, tinted the water with blue food colouring and screwed on a cap from an unused Amway spray bottle.


"Is this the fake Windex?"
"Yup."
"Let me try some."

Ryan unscrewed the cap, drew the bottle toward his mouth and winced.

"Dude, it reeks of Windex!"
"It should be benign, though. I cleaned the bottle thoroughly."
"With what? Windex?"
"Give me the bottle."

*sniff*

Oh, fuck.


"And…action!"

Don't worry, Jon. Hakuna matata.

I might as well drink actual Windex. This can't be good for my body.

Says a guy who once ate 40 Chicken McNuggets in one sitting on a dare.

[sigh]

I chugged half the bottle.

"¿QUE? ¿No es Bombay Sapphire? ¡Ay dios mio!"
"Cut!"

See? Nothing happened.

…until later that day.


Moral: Johnathan really is Amazing.

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