Short Circuit

Previously on Adam Riff™:

My buddy Jose won a Pulitzer this week as part of the Washington Post staff that covered last year's shootings at Virginia Tech.

"Remember my series on AIDS? A local filmmaker is adapting it into a documentary feature. I'm receiving writing and producing credits."


—that article i was writing
—about that linnie woman who gave $10
—it ran
—and we're now writing a book together

[pause]

—so now you gotta help edit a book — and i'll credit you!

If I was motivated in life, I'd probably try to be a copy editor.

Copy editing doesn't sound fun, but it's the one task I actually think I'm good at.


Jack Nicholson is a fan of the Lakers and the Yankees.

…and the Colts?


Occasionally, Luke Walton picks up his phone and gets an earful.

"This is Paul Pierce," the caller says. "You're a bum, and all your teammates are bums."

Only it isn't actually Pierce. It's just an attempt by Walton's father to motivate his son in the NBA finals.

"He wouldn't even change his voice." [source]

The thought of Bill Walton crank-calling Luke amuses me immensely.

"Hello?"
"This is Scot Pollard. Yo mama so fat, the AIDS quilt couldn't cover her!"

"Hello?"
"This is John Wooden. I want to talk to you about my Pyramid of Success."

"Hello?"
"My name is Jennifer Lopez! I like tacos and burritos!"


NBC announced the match-ups for Celebrity Family Feud.

Highlights:

Bill Engvall's family vs. Larry the Cable Guy's family
("Name something that might identify you as a redneck")

Ice T's family vs. Joan Rivers' family
Kim Kardashian's family vs. Deion Sanders' family
The Office's supporting cast vs. American Gladiators

and my favourite

Kathie Lee Gifford's family vs. Dog the Bounty Hunter's family
("Name another term for 'African-American.'")

To no one's surprise, Vincent Pastore — the anti-Ian Somerhalder — also participated.

My favorite thing in the press release—that Ice-T's team includes "Son Ice." (Also awesome? Kathie Lee supports the "Association to Benefit Children.")

I'm also disappointed that Ed McMahon's charity is not "Ed McMahon's Mortgage." [source]


Gary Coleman wrestles a taco
How many sequels were there? A quiz.

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