Sucker and dry with a kiss goodnight

Excerpts from the police blotter in Thursday's paper:

A woman told police she paid a psychic healer in a parking lot to cure her ailments.


Two juveniles, who, as a ruse, decided to get drunk and raise a ruckus at Dairy Queen, jump over the counter and try to open the cash register, were taken home and released to their families.

"We are two wild and crazy guys!"

A Chihuahua being walked by a woman wearing a leopard print robe was tearing up neighbors' plants.

A loud rooster was creating a disturbance.

A resident said a passerby continually harasses his dogs. [source]

"How am I funny, dogs? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me! Tell me what's funny!"

Two people who said they had weapons robbed Touch of Love Florists.

What could be more ghetto than armed robbery of a flower shop?

Little Caesar's Pizza was robbed by two men who were armed.

A suspicious man wearing rubber gloves was seen running south toward Arlington Road.

Last but not least…

Counterfeit money was used for a purchase at Taco Bell. [source]

Lulz. The Bay Area, ladies and gents.

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