I'll be back

Ben Affleck called Sarah Silverman after completing a sit-down interview with a person he was told was a "very famous openly-gay fashion journalist." Ben said the interview was "the weirdest sit-down he has ever had with a reporter."

The interviewer's first question was "How do you like niggers?"


A church in Kansas reported that a strange European camera crew showed up to its Easter play with the on-air personality in chains. [source]

Brüno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt opens this fall.

Adam Ramblings 19

[21453. (a) A driver facing a steady circular red signal alone shall stop at a marked limit line, but if none, before entering the crosswalk on the near side of the intersection or, if none, then before entering the intersection, and shall remain stopped until an indication to proceed is shown, except as provided in
subdivision (b).]

» I didn't stop completely before turning right on red. Okay. Guilty. I'll pay the bail and attend




"Let's make him drive all the way up here and beg for traffic school to keep a cheap violation off his heretofore clean record!"

» I'm 25 and still don't know how to tie a tie. I've studied countless videos and illustrations on the Internet and remain utterly baffled.

"Up, around, behind, through, left, right, down… whaaa?"

Triple H told a story about meeting Ric Flair in a hotel. Flair was walking around wearing only a pair of dress shoes and socks and a balloon tied to his penis. [source]

» Whoa.

» Some people don't believe in evolution. Some don't believe in God. I don't believe that stretching before exercising does anything.

My review of Run, Fat Boy, Run is up.

» Is the title of the film Run, Fat Boy, Run
Run, Fatboy, Run,
Run Fat Boy Run
or Run Fatboy Run? I've seen it printed all four ways.

» Another copy editing nightmare: The 40 Year Old Virgin (IMDb), The 40 Year-Old Virgin (poster) or The 40-Year-Old Virgin (DVD)?

» At Chipotle, I saw a guy with a bowl cut playing with his son while his wife paid. "How does a guy with a bowl cut have a wife and son?" I wondered.

When bowl cuts were fashionable in the 90s, my parents kept pushing me to get one, but I stuck to just shaving my head. Shaved heads may look like penises, but heads with bowl cuts actually resemble penises.

By the end of the year, Burger King will introduce Whopper Bars. The company initially considered labeling the concept Pimp Your Whopper. [source]

» Shakira should cover "Zombie" by The Cranberries.

» I sent a package to a Cyprian customer named Bianca Iordachioaiei.

How the heck do you pronounce that surname?

I'd like to buy a consonant!

» Locked Up Abroad, or Midnight Express: The Series, resumes tonight on "Nat Geo" with a Mexico episode.

The true story of a British couple who were caught trafficking drugs from Costa Rica to Amsterdam during a stopover in Mexico City and sentenced to 10 years in a Mexican prison. [source]

A stopover? [smacks forehead]

A Thailand episode follows next Monday.

A young British woman, desperate to raise money for a flight home from Thailand, agrees to smuggle an addict's personal stash of heroin to Tokyo in exchange for 1000 pounds. [source]


» "Hey, remember when your team choked in the Super Bowl?"

alternate caption: "Hey, remember when I lost to Lloyd Carr?"

"13" combines the horror genre with a reality show format. Win a grand prize of $66,666. [source]

Grand Theft Auto IV Achievements Leaked
"Warm Coffee." Ha!

Ohio man facing charges for having sex with a picnic table
hat tip: my new favourite blog

I will be there with you when you turn out the light

Before you get to San Antonio….. Please remind Thurman Thomas not to forget his helmet. I would simply hate for your Bills to make such a costly and frivolous mistake.

<3 Jayhawk fans. I hope Bill Self NEVER wins a championship. Gooooo Davidson! My hatred for the University of Kansas is pure and blinding.

Steven lives in San Antonio.


On SportsCenter, Dick Vitale squawked about seeing "vintage Tyler Hansbrough" against Louisville.


I searched YouTube for "Kevin Love" and sorted by date. YouTube returned a bunch of Jonas Brothers videos.

the full-court shot

If he doesn't succeed in the NBA, he can always form a circus with the juggler and Rental Man.

The magic number is 2.

The Kingdom of the Diamond-Encrusted Skull

50 Cent and G-Unit put on a sold-out performance somewhere in a fictional Middle Eastern setting, but instead of payment, the concert promoter offers him a diamond-encrusted skull that's valuable to this particular war-torn country.

As they're about to leave the country, they're ambushed and the skull is taken. Throughout the game, 50's trying to track these people down and find out who they are and why he was ambushed.

We drew inspiration from the movie 'Three Kings.' [source]

Honestly? The game doesn't seem any more ridiculous than Hammerman and its magical, anthropomorphic dancing shoes.

Conversations with my bathroom mirror

(image not representative of actual game)

Ben texted me at halftime.

—make plans for xavier

So naive…

They may not be a very impressive team, but they're MY team. I believe in no one else. That said, I'm glad North Carolina and Kansas are on the other side of the bracket.

The magic number is 3.

Evidently, West Virginia recruited Jamie Smalligan primarily to provide reaction shots for television cameras.

Joe Alexander looks like a cross between Justin Timberlake and Jordan Farmar.


Oof. Calling it a "downgrade" is too generous.

10 films I have never seen:

Field of Dreams
The Godfather: Part III
The Professional
Schindler's List
The Terminator
The Wizard of Oz
Young Frankenstein

I've read the book Schindler's List… Chapter 37 is stupendous.

10 films I HAVE seen:

Caddyshack II
Freddy Got Fingered*
It's Pat
Mr. Nanny
Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach
Rollerball (2002)*
Tales from the Hood

* at a cinema on opening weekend

'The Wire' Finale's Montage: A Shot-by-Shot Commentary
Game Soundtracks You Don't Listen To Enough: Super Mario Land
Sayonara, baseball tradition

The Decline of Western Civilization

U-S-A! U-S-A!

God bless Kristy Lee Cook for bringing teh lulz each week.

Would it kill David Archuleta to sing a fun song? Last I checked, the LDS Church doesn't forbid fun.

The musical sequel to Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom of the Opera" will tell the story of how the Phantom got away in the big fire and was taken to Coney Island. [source]

The Phantom of Nathan's?

Andrew Lloyd Webber looks like Cesar Romero's Joker in retirement.

A look inside David Paterson's closet:

Hypothesis: No photo exists that is less flattering to Hillary Clinton than her Journal hedcut
The Blogosphere expressed in 4 themes
Rick Astley talks 'Rickrolling'

What We Do Is Secret


I overheard a guy talking on his mobile and almost every other word out of his mouth was "fucking."

"I fucking forgot my fucking keys at your fucking apartment and couldn't fucking open the fucking door…"

He dropped "fucking"s like girls drop "like"s or basketball players drop "you know"s and "you know what I'm saying"s.

My vernacular idiosyncrasy? Beginning statements with "well."

"Well, I can't help it!"

My buddy list can attest.

I also sigh a lot, which annoys my boss and parents mightily.

"Why do you sigh so much, Jon?"

Well, You'd rather I vent obscenities?

Sighing can be positively cathartic too. Sometimes I sigh to compose myself before delving into a task. I'm not stressed; I just want to focus.

Adam Ramblings 18

» Click the left red button.

» I received a traffic violation notice in the mail from the City of Millbrae charging me with a red light violation based on photographic evidence. Apparently, I didn't stop completely before right-turning on red into non-existent cross traffic.

I'm tempted to contest the violation, but I'd rather not attend a court trial or compose a written declaration. If I was motivated though:

"Fuck you, cop! I'm not giving the Shitty of Millgay $480 so it can issue more bullshit citations for intuitive 15mph rolling stops! I'll pay the bail amount when you get off your useless ass and do some actual police work! Amirite, judge?"

$480 plus $25 for traffic school… Guh.

I suppose I could use the credit card miles.

Oh and I was right-turning into a BART station to catch a train. [pause]

I don't think I've ever seen a (non-Asian) hot chic ever eat KFC. [source]

» Stuff White People Like: Stuff White People Like.

» A local casino booked Gwen in Doubt, a No Doubt tribute band. If you Google "gwen in doubt," the first result is Without a Doubt, another No Doubt tribute band. Because one No Doubt tribute band isn't enough.

» I'm considering changing my band's name from The Blond Jews to The Desperation Three and adopting the stage name Evan Retarded.

» CBS canceled Jericho again and now fans are mounting another campaign to save the show.

Someone suggested an account be set up where fans could send money for the production budget. If each fan paid 40 bucks we'd have enough money for a full 3rd season.

Jericho is aired in 30 countries at the moment so a shared-cost approach would be entirely possible. [source]


Jericho fans exasperate me. Stop it, losers! The show's even less worth saving now! You want it to continue? Write fanfic.

» I returned from lunch on Sunday and saw:

Final? I thought. The game hadn't started when I left. I checked the box score.


I messaged Hornblower.

—did arkansas surrender?

—it's at the half
—but they might as well just surrender
—i can't imagine being in that locker room
—what can you say as a coach?
—"uh, let's not give up another 51 points?"

» I wish I knew how to excerpt the footage of this band geek celebrating.

The Hilltoppers move on to play UCLA. So we're looking at a blowout or an extremely close game with a controversial ending. [source]

» Comedy sketch idea: Wrestling referees ref a UCLA game. Ben Howland distracts the refs. Ref bumps. The opposing coach tries to wake an unconscious ref to call a flagrant foul.

Fuck the Economy and the Job Market
The Kenny G Eliminator
Raining McCain

Hannah Hold On

Of course they win by 2! Of course!

In previous second rounds, they escaped Missouri by 1 (1995), Alabama by 3 (2006) and Indiana by 5 (2007). Gotta uphold tradition!

I love when Jay Bilas reacts to a play with a visceral "OH!". They're so out of character for him.

If Western Kentucky wins today, the Phoenix regional will host Musketeers, Mountaineers and Hilltoppers.

"Oh my!" indeed, Dick.

The magic number is 4.

Campfire Kansas

hey, where is that guy's nipple?

Beastie Boy Adam Yauch produced and directed a documentary that follows eight of the nation's top high school basketball players as they prepare to showcase their skills in a 2006 game at Rucker Park in Harlem.

Among the eight featured players: Michael Beasley, Kevin Love, Kyle Singler and Jerryd Bayless.

Gunnin' for That #1 Spot premieres at the Tribeca Film Festival in April or May and opens in theatres on June 27.


UMBC coach Randy Monroe on how to defend Roy Hibbert:

I plan on having all five players cover [him] and come off the bench and bite him in the kneecaps.

Did WWE film the scene inside George Mason's locker room?

Thursday's two Pac-10 casualties both lost to Bob Huggins' teams — one he assembled and one he inherited.

I can't see [Kevin] Love and his thin little Color Me Badd beard without laughing. I think it's a good general rule for all Oregon natives to avoid any and all attempts to be fashionable.

The magic number is 5.

All That I Know

—is it tournament time?
—should i avoid your site?
—i don't get half the shit you post

—the guys criticize you for making your site too much about march madness

—ah! but you still get half the shit i post, right?

If you hate my basketball nonsense, try enduring F1 racing or AL baseball previews. At least my grafs are short. And sometimes clauses.

The New York Yankees of college basketball.

Bloggers are inherently solipsistic. I aim to please but my mind disagrees.

What can I say?

—i gave jord access to dilute the madness he's so critical of. ask him to post shit and then i'll criticize him for making the site too much about photos of jord

—did you fill out your bracket?
—who is in your final two?

A team full of "MacGyvers."

As if anyone had to ask…

Today in Stupid: The Politician Formerly Known As Marvin Pro-Life Richardson
Quarter Pounder With WTF?

Let the Reigns Go Loose

awesome: Tracy Morgan to Host New Season of 'Scare Tactics'


SECRET TALENTS OF THE STARS premieres live, Tuesday, April 8.

• Clint Black will perform stand-up comedy
• George Takei will croon as a country singer
• Ric Flair will salsa dance
• Danny Bonaduce will maneuver a unicycle
• Sheila E. will juggle
• Cindy Margolis will perform magic [source]

Cindy Margolis will PERFORM MAGIC!


George Clooney watches 2 Girls 1 Cup
Top 25 Upsets in NCAA Tournament History
the logos of the Big Red