I can't decide what amuses me more:
the title of the movie or the accompanying image.
Besides the obligatory shotgun to the head routine, one cheerleader has her jaw ripped off; and a pregnant girl suffers an unwilling abortion, then lives just long enough to see a zombie devouring her fetus. [source]
Music has been used in American military prisons and on bases to induce sleep deprivation, "prolong capture shock," disorient detainees during interrogationsand also drown out screams. [source]
"Babylon" by David Gray bwah!
"He's a serial killer, but he only kills other serial killers!"
In the penultimate episode of The Wire, Michael walks in on Dukie watching Dexter. Blink and you'll miss it.
In this nightmare, I learned that I forgot to include the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament in this week's sidebar and freaked out.
"What? It doesn't begin this week! I would know if it began this week! Why would MARCH Madness begin in February? It was pushed up? What the? Why? The season's still in progress! I just… It isn't? WHAT? No way… No no no no no no no! LIES! You LIE! That isn't true! I know that isn't true! LIAR! I researched this sidebar thoroughly! I would never let the biggest sporting event of March or February or whatever slip past me! I would…..MOTHERFUCKER! Fuck me! This is embarrassing! I look so fuckin' unprofessional! How did…..guh! Deep breaths, Jon…"
And then I woke up.
I shall continue voting for Danny Noriega until he spontaneously combusts on stage.
Randy looks like he just ate poop without using his hands or a napkin.
I sent a package today to the Billings Scuba Center.
Have seen Zero of the Foreign Film Oscar nominees. I'm vaguely disgusted with myself. [source]
And yes, the winner was "The one about the Holocaust." The Academy is banal. [source]
» I don't understand the typographical methodology behind PricewaterhouseCoopers' logo. Why is "waterhouse" staggered?
» Wishful thinking: Radiohead asks Jack Johnson to open for its North American summer tour.
» I kinda hope Friday Night Lights isn't saved, because its writers would have to reap what they sowed in season two. Also, I've yet to witness a television series originally set during K-12 successfully transition to life after school.
» Air Bud + Homeward Bound = Air Buddies. Air Buddies + Snow Dogs = Snow Buddies!
"Featuring the all-star voice talents of Dylan Sprouse (The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody) and Jim Belushi (According To Jim)."
» Idea: an Internet database of film and television blooper reels. YouTube is unreliable.
Why does the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences even bother awarding an Oscar for "best original song" anymore?
This year's nominees appear to fill a quota more than anything. Three of the five songs are from Enchanted. Another was technically ineligible but cleared at the last second.
Two years ago, the Academy only nominated three songs and even then, none were really worth recognizing.
In fact, since 2000, the Academy has only nominated one truly memorable original song "Lose Yourself" by Eminem.
Not content with simply nominating negligible songs, the Academy also insists on highlighting just how negligible said songs are during the Oscar telecast.
Last year, instead of re-creating 2006's most memorable movie music moment Jennifer Hudson's fierce rendition of "And I Am Telling You for the Last Time" in Dreamgirls Hudson, Beyoncé and that other girl performed a medley of songs which weren't even in the original musical, songs that I doubt anyone can recall today.
I had to check to make sure I was watching "Hollywood's biggest night" and not, you know, an American Idol results show.
If ever the Academy had a reason to show a montage during the Oscar telecast, the "best original song" nominees are it.
When I think of 2007 in cinematic song, I think of:
Time for another installment of "You can't do that on (American) television!"
a musical about 9/11?
a crazy stalker girl fingers herself on the bed of her stalkee?
YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON (AMERICAN) TELEVISION!
I spent the past few days absorbing every available episode of Kyle XY.
I pitied Jessi during the first half of season two, but now I wish that she had died after jumping off the cliff. You don't deserve Kyle's benevolence, bitch! I hope he literally kills you with kindness!
I'd never seen her before. I considered passing, but I was the only person in line. I reluctantly approached the counter.
"Can I get a Chipotle Roast Beef sandwich?"
She consulted a laminated chart.
"Chipotle Roast Beef…"
Not again, I thought. Why do I always draw the noobs?
She spent two minutes just searching for the bread.
Finally: "I'm sorry, we're out of onion herb bread."
"Okay, wheat then."
"How are you doing today?" she asked.
…until I met you, grandma.
The greens on the sandwich looked suspiciously like plain lettuce.
"Doesn't spring mix include spinach?" I asked.
"I'm sorry, we're out of spring mix. Is that a problem?"
OF COURSE IT'S A PROBLEM! YOU'RE ALTERING THE FLAVOUR PROFILE OF THE SANDWICH!
No bread, no greens this is unacceptable! I ordered a Chipotle Roast Beef sandwich expecting fuckin' onion herb bread and spring mix! If you can't give me what's listed on the menu, then fuckin' take it off the goddamn menu!
I would've walked out if the manager hadn't already charged me.
Sometimes I can't believe that I was terrified during my first driving lesson, because in my car, I feel invincible. When faced with a tight merge or lane change, I never hesitate to cut in, and I'll right turn into cross traffic before I should.
In my car, I also fantasize about crashing. While driving, I'll think, "What if I don't press the brake pedal?" or "What if I swerve off this overpass?"
In my car, I am the chewing gum in Mission: Impossible (1996).