PMA: Day One

Gale Sayers is delivering Saturday's business keynote. At a photography trade show.

After witnessing a large animatronic frog lip-sync "What a Wonderful World" by Louie Armstrong, my boss and I gorged ourselves at the Wynn buffet.

As I type this, I feel like I'm eight months pregnant with food.

Vegas buffets offer — and diners devour — an obscene amount of king crab legs. They're like crustacean crack. I wonder how many king crabs die each day so that people in Vegas can enjoy ONE meal.


Atari: The Coppola of gaming

The Bluegrass Tribute to Jack Johnson
"A trip from the backyards of Hawaii to the front porches of Appalachia."

Crash, the 2005 best picture Oscar winner, will become a 13-episode television series for Starz

Film Review: 2 Girls 1 Cup

Anti-Hillary slogans
"Wanna See Hillary Run? Throw Rocks at Her!"
"I Wish Hillary Had Married O.J."

Wes Welker's parents have a portrait of their son in their home.

Gladiators 2000, a children's version of American Gladiators hosted by Ryan Seacrest, will return this fall

Vince McMahon is on the verge of fulfilling his life long ambition of running an incest storyline. Paul Birchill and Katie Lea shall be doing it as brother and sister. [source]

Clay Aiken says he doesn't have sexual urges

At lunch today, I watched Bill Bradley answer audience questions on The Martha Stewart Show.

Phazer Blast gallery

Adam Ramblings 11

» Bush should add "more shitty parody films" to his economic stimulus bill.

» The MacBook Air's black keyboard is a real buzzkill.

» My brother wants to buy a breathalyzer to test his friends, partly to ensure that they drink responsibly (what a Boy Scout) and partly for "fun."

"It's only $125!"

He's majoring in business.

» Apparently, Kevin Smith is a visiting professor at UCLA. Wonder what he's teaching. His lectures must kill.

» Kal Penn is teaching a class on Asian Americans in the Media at…Penn.

Speakers include Margaret Cho and John Hurwitz, a Penn alum and one of the writers of Harold and Kumar. [source]

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay opens during his visiting term. Field trip?

» Who's playing a villain in "Volume 3" of Heroes?

This guy!

Wikipedia — He teaches children martial arts?

» Jo-Wilfried Tsonga looks like the child of Muhammad Ali and Tony Almeida.

» ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero Jr. entered the Royal Rumble for the opportunity to wrestle himself at WrestleMania XXIV.

» Instead of AFC vs. NFC in the Pro Bowl, the winner of the Super Bowl should play the Pro Bowl team of its opposing conference. Losing side has to play a game in London the following season.

If Philip Rivers died a famous movie death…
Sporting News Radio interviews Carl of Aqua Teen Hunger Force
The Meat Ship
Six worst prizes you can win on The Price Is Right (no "bedroom"?)

Low Couture

What better way to end a week of CLASSY content than with this:

The group will be making T-shirts. You can buy them for $25 on their website.

Stone is counting on T-shirt sales to serve as "billboard education." He figures the whole thing will end up taking on a viral nature.

"The more people buy the T-shirts, the more people wear the T-shirts. The more people wear the T-shirts, the more people are educated. Consequently, our mission has been achieved." [source]

"The more people wear the T-shirts!" Bwah!

Look at that design! What self-respecting person would wear a shirt with that design on it, let alone spend $25 on one?

Crass humour and clothing do not mix.

You're supposed to feel horrible for laughing at crass humour. By wearing a shirt with crass humour on it, you validate the humour and in turn validate yourself as a douche bag.

T-Shirt Hell designs are fun to browse, but come on…

Would you wear this in public?

15 Minutes of Lame

Actual television shows in development:

The World's Strongest Celebrity
Celebrity Magician (VH1)
Celebrity Circus (USA)
Circus of the Stars (ABC)
Secret Talent of the Stars (CBS)

Over/Under: Vincent Pastore participates in three of these.

Program Note
Fri, Jan. 25 8:00 PM ET/PT (CMT)

Gone Country uproots seven musical celebrities and prepares them for a career in country music.

The cast of performers includes:

Bobby Brown — R&B singer, former member of New Edition
Dee Snider — radio personality, lead singer Twisted Sister
Julio Iglesias Jr. — pop singer
Sisqó — R&B singer, former member of the group Dru Hill

"Honky Thong Badonkadong"?

related: Sisqó outwits a giant lizard

Mass Effect

Boston is officially no longer a scrappy sports town – everyone hates Boston teams. But you know what? We put up with so many awful seasons and terrible heartbreaks that we deserve this moment of glory. [source]


Three Super Bowl wins and two World Series wins in seven years isn't reparation enough? Some of us have yet to see our teams win anything consequential! Some of us are still waiting for just 40 acres and a mule!


Shut the fuck up, Bosstones.

Variations on a letter to the house across the street


I found another turd on my lawn.

I hope you're re-incarnated as a river in India.



I found another turd on my lawn.

I'm gonna start fishing out my turds and dumping them on your lawn.



I found another turd on my lawn.

I'm gonna start fishing out my turds, mixing them with steak, and dumping servings of the concoction on your lawn.



I found another turd on my lawn.

If I ever catch your dog shitting on my lawn, I'm gonna throw it in a paper bag, set the bag on fire outside your front door, and ring the doorbell.



I found another turd on my lawn.

The next time I see your dog running around unleashed, I'm gonna grab it and throw it in my oven. Then I'm gonna eat it, and digest it, and when the time arrives, I'm gonna walk over and SHIT YOUR DOG ON YOUR LAWN.

"Hey, I found your dog!"



I found another turd on my lawn.

The next time I see your dog running around unleashed, I'm gonna grab it and sedate it. Then I'm gonna sew its asshole shut, release it, and wait for it to explode and splatter the inside of your house with shit.

Maybe then you'll clean up after it.



I found another turd on my lawn.

So I've been thinking… Your dog can't produce turds if no one is around to
feed it, right?

I'm gonna send your dog a message. Any last words you'd like me to relay?


Country is not pretty

Nick of The Amazing Race 12 answered questions on the message board of his father's web site. If The Amazing Race was sports, the media would be abuzz.


No, didn't "bang" the Asian chick — actually don't think much of her repeatedly stating how smart she was. And for reference, she is now "banging" Azaria.

[Ron and Christina's] relationship is utterly flawed. Ron's breakthrough was made for TV.

The sisters were horrible to be around. They were constantly lying, extremely unpleasant, and made friends with no one except their Spanish speaking "sister" Lorena. Everyone hated them, and it made me frustrated that my grandfather continued to talk to them. Similarly it frustrates me that he continues his friendship with Ron even after the race.

Kent (Kynt) was a goof. He was completely fake, I wondered if he was a person at all. He wouldn't talk to you, but the camera behind you. Always a show about how he is so different, how he likes different music, dresses differently…ugh.

Don, Nick dish on 'The Amazing Race'

A chart of the body count in each of Sly Stallone's Rambo movies
Extreme Skier Billy Poole Dies at 28 After Jumping Off Cliff for Documentary
Wii Fit Has Gone Too Far This Time
Understanding art for geeks

Magna Doodle

I love the box art for the DVD of Rocket Science.

Reminds me of the cover art for 98 Mute's self-titled album, one of the first CDs I ever bought.

Sadly, Mead discontinued production of Pee Chee folders.

Idea: A Pee Chee OS folder icon. Someone design one, please.

For the record, the first CD I ever bought was the soundtrack to Disney's Aladdin.

I no longer buy CDs. Haven't in years. Nowadays, I just keep

One jump
Ahead of the lawmen
That's all
And that's no joke
These guys don't appreciate I'm broooooke!


Today, my boss asked me to attend PMA 08 (Photo Marketing Association convention and trade show) with him.

Next week.

In Las Vegas.

But you just returned 10 days ago from a week in Vegas, Jon!

But… Cheesecake Bites and roulette!


Oh what the hell…

The 2008 William S. Paley Television Festival will feature "An Evening with Judd Apatow and Friends" at the Cinerama Dome
Explosions in the Sky curated a swell ATP festival
My Maine Man Al

Dirty Sanchez, Donkey Punch

My buddy Jose is covering the campaign trail for the Washington Post.

He messaged me after Monday's hilarious Democratic debate.

i think BHO will lose the nomination to HRC
because of the latino vote
and then HRC will lose to John McCain

latinos like the clintons
they know the clintons
she's Eva Peron
barack's a black guy
latinos dont like blacks
it's a long historic tension

mccain will get the republican nomination
and he will beat hillary

A victory by McCain would be spic-tacular.

Adam Ramblings 10

» Remember when the White Sox improbably won the World Series a year after the Red Sox did?

Yeah… Book it.

» Apropos of nothing:

» LT looked like Charth Vader on the sideline.

» A case against HD: Terry, Howie and Jimmy outdoors in sub-zero temperatures. Tom Coughlin looked pretty haggard too.

» Where all the black kickers at?

» "Hasta la vista, boredom!" Oh, TV Guide

» Sausage! Sausage!

» Note to Diet Dr. Pepper: Supermarkets don't have dessert aisles.

» Verizon Wireless Test Man has a daughter? A sitcom must be in development.

» Did you know? Nick of The Amazing Race 12's father is alt-country troubadour Robbie Fulks.

I have this older son who's 23 now, and that's one way I find out about things. Recently, he was listening to some Beyoncé, and I ended up buying a record of hers. [source]

» All-Stars' lame "Newlywed Game" < TAR 3's animal totem pole < TAR 12's final challenge < TAR 9's flags < Family Edition's absurdly intense geography puzzle.

» Final challenge idea for The Amazing Race 13: Without a map, find every country you visited in a field of 100 different shapes. Simple, challenging and, most importantly, telegenic, which TAR 12's logic list was not.

» I think my cousin Wayne is in jail.

Is This Gay?
Rick Majerus Will Show You His Billiken


During the preface, a DHARMA Initiative logo flashes in the bottom right corner of the screen?

During the last scene at Coney Island, something falls out of the sky in the distance and splashes into the ocean?

At the end of the credits, you hear a whisper that sounds like Rob saying "Help us," and played backward, you hear "It's still alive"?

I guess I was too busy jerking off to notice.

My opinion is overrated

Donnie Yen is starring in a Hong Kong remake of MIAMI VICE called HONG KONG VICE. [source]

I see him as Crockett.

Perhaps Gong Li can reprise her role as Isabella in a more intelligible language.

Today, The Steve Wilkos Show will treat several hundred gifted New York area school children to a private concert by Finger Eleven.

Says Wilkos, the former Jerry Springer Show security guard turned syndicated daytime counselor:

I have kids of my own so having a chance to meet with these special students and congratulate them on their excellence is very personal to me. And to have them get a special concert from Finger Eleven, that's the icing on the cake. [source]

Clowns say kids do NOT find them scary
C'mon, uni researchers and clowns. Entertain us with a flame war.

50 Perfect Impressions
Olympic Highlights