A History of Violence

The following list revels in misogyny. Feminist discretion is advised.

The trends this year were bathroom settings and asphyxiation.


10. Tony Soprano vs. Bobby Baccalieri
The Sopranos – "Soprano Home Movies"


Chivalry, thy name is Bacala.

HIGHLIGHT: Carmela fails to break up the fight.


9. John McClane vs. Mai
Live Free or Die Hard


Fuck chivalry.

HIGHLIGHT: McClane flings Mai like a ragdoll into metal shelves.


8. Iorek Byrnison vs. Iofur Raknison
The Golden Compass


Visual effects money well spent.

HIGHLIGHT: "Yes, that is all."


7. David Hoffman vs. Dimitri Nikolov
Chrysalis


Unfortunately, I could only find a cam-rip that vacillates in and out of focus.

HIGHLIGHT: Nikolov burns Hoffman with his cigarette.


6. Truman Fisher vs. Claude Rains
The Prodigy


How to shoot a Hollywood fight on an indie budget.

HIGHLIGHT: Rains shows off his knife.


5. Jack Bauer vs. Abu Fayed
24 – Day 6, 10:00 p.m. – 11:00 p.m.

The producers of 24 are very trigger happy, so any time Jack fights someone is a treat. Because Fox hates YouTube, I must link to a clip.

HIGHLIGHT: "Say 'hello' to your brother."


4. Super Russ. Brothers Brawl
Derzkie Dni (Impudent Days)


I don't understand Russian, but the two combatants begin the movie as friends, fall out and then reconcile immediately after the fade-out, so I assume they discuss respect.

HIGHLIGHT: The timing of the downpour.


3. Detective Sergeant Ma vs. Tony
Dao Huo Xian (Flash Point)


MMA for effort.

HIGHLIGHT: The fall. No stuntmen. No wires.


2. Jason Bourne vs. Desh Bouksani (feat. Nicky Parsons)
The Bourne Ultimatum


Bourne is like the Carrot Top of secret agents.

HIGHLIGHT: Desh knocks Nicky out — from three different angles!


1. Nikolai vs. Chechen Henchmen (NSFW)
Eastern Promises


Adam Nayman wrote that this fight "should rank among the most exhilaratingly visceral patches of cinema, period, full stop." I totally agree.

HIGHLIGHT: The ending.

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