20. For You.Old School
19. Console WaterMuted Qur'an
18. Plasma Sightstochasticity Sight of Gold
17. Kan'tne EastWelcome Week
15. TelevisionfeetOutside Mirages
14. Dave-AUpstanding Japanese Citizen
13. The Black StarsPleasant Thud
12. Larj GarthThe Flood 1/3
11. Injustice ✡
10. The LocalMixed Martial Artist
9. About SaskatoonCheering Flora, Am I the Creator?
8. John Bjorn and PeterJoyce Carol Oates
7. Ostentatious CatThey Were Alive After the Dinghy Resurfaced
6. Solo PonyBegin to Cease
5. Edward Leonard and the PushersDying with the Dead
4. ForkGoo Goo Goo Goo Goo
3. La-QYou Won't Sleep When I'm Alive
2. Old Old Horse StadiumLousy Office
An 18-month-old girl, hospitalized last week after an object was jammed down her throat by 16-year-old boy, died of her injuries Wednesday.
Police said the object had been inserted into her mouth deliberately, but investigators have not yet figured out why.
"This was not as a result of play." He would not say what the object was. [source]
reading my local paper's weekly entertainment guide
» Half-page ad. Twelfth Night. Image of Shakespeare with beatnik sunglasses and a goatee. Odd… Oh. "Shakespeare's celebration of love in all its magical permutations gets a song-filled reimagining in the City by the Bay, circa 1967." Gag.
» Comedy listing. "Chopshticks, a stand-up showcase featuring Jewish comedians and Chinese food." Yid and yang, heh. "What's the deal with MSG?"
» Ooh. Sports listing. "Saturday, Logitech Ice hosts a free curling open house." I've wanted to try out curling shoes since the last Winter Olympics.
» Television listing. Elmo's Christmas Countdown. "Guest actors include Steve Schirripa and Tony Sirico (of 'The Sopranos') as a real-life Bert and Ernie." I can't tell if the writer is serious.
» Small ad. "Rosicrucian Order. www.rosicrucian.org." [enters URL] Cuckoo!
» Side ad. The Celebrity Showroom at John Ascuaga's Nugget hotel in Reno. "Disco Dance Party, December 31. The Comstock Cowboys, January 5. Boyz II Men, January 19-20." Oof. Shouldn't have waited until the water ran dry to release Evolution.
» Full-page ad. The Christmas Music of Mannheim Steamroller, "The #1 Christmas Recording Artist in History." As seen on Tool Time.
» Quarter-page ad. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. "Special midnight shows tonight!" Please, Sony, Apatow's not THAT popular.
» Half-page ad. "The Prom Expo (Ultimate Teen Experience!) Starring National Recording Artist Omarion."
1. Why does a high school dance need its own expo?
2. Where does "prom expo" rank among gigs for musical artists? I say below a county fair but above a hotel in Reno.
3. Is Omarion the one who stabbed himself in the eye? Young, black, male R&B singers are nigh indistinguishable to me.
» Oh man… Dear Abby:
I have found the man I will be with for the rest of my life. We are very happy and very much in love.
Every since I was about 9, my mother and I have had our palms read, our tarot cards done, charted our birth signs, etc.
When I was 17, our palm reader proceeded to tell me about my life and explained that my first husband will die. Abby, I can't stop thinking about this, and when I do I can't hold back the tears.
I need some relief from my fear because I'm afraid that when we're married I'll always be waiting for the day my husband doesn't come home.
Miserable in Milwaukee
» Comics. Dennis the Menace. Dennis sees his parents embraced and kissing beside a Christmas tree. Caption: "You guys are makin' up already? That wasn't much of a fight." Domestic disputes HI-larious.
On Survivor's official web site, Yau-Man received 65.5% of the votes in a poll on "favourite Fiji survivor." Earl, the runner-up, received only 10%.
Hung Huynh winner, Top Chef 3: Miami
"In the end the best chef won. Sirio Maccione, Andre Soltner, Michelle Bernstein, Todd English, Rocco DiSpirito, and Tom Colicchio ALL clearly recognized a superior craftsman in Hung and rewarded him with well deserved wins. THAT is the bottom line. You want to argue with that kind of consensus? Go right ahead."
Daisuke Matsuzaka world champion pitcher, Boston Red Sox
Matsuzaka is the third pitcher in Red Sox franchise history to record two RBIs in a World Series game. The other two pitchers? Babe Ruth and Cy Young.
Kal Penn actor, 24 / The Namesake / House (became series regular)
On his stint as a terrorist on 24:
"I have a huge political problem with the role. It was essentially accepting a form of racial profiling. I think it's repulsive. But it was the first time I had a chance to blow stuff up and take a family hostage. As an actor, why shouldn't I have that opportunity? Because I'm brown and I should be scared about the connection between media images and people's thought processes?"
Cho Seung-Hui author, Richard McBeef / Mr. Brownstone
I was hesitant to include him, but you can't deny his cultural impact. Also, Time once named Hitler "man of the year" blah blah blah.
» I Am Legend in five words: Wow. Will Smith is buff.
» Dexter is like Nip/Tuck with annoying introspection.
Both shows are/were set in Miami.
Both shows follow men who cut recumbent people up.
Each season, both shows introduce antagonists who either die or disappear in the season finale. Rudy, Lila, Lundy = Ava, Quentin, Michelle.
» The main problem with Dexter is that you know he's never in real trouble, like Jack Bauer, which tempers suspense.
» I don't understand people who hate reality television. Doesn't interest you? Okay. But HATE? Don't delude yourself into thinking that television would be infinitely better without reality programming. WITH reality programming, networks still picked up Back to You and Bionic Woman and Cavemen and Viva Laughlin.
Besides, how can you hate shit like this? It's funnier than Scrubs.
» I've never seen a season of Survivor that rewarded the survivors with more food than Survivor: China. Almost every reward challenge involved a feast, and the survivors still complained about hunger!
» John Beilein left West Virginia to coach Michigan in April. UCLA plays Michigan on Saturday. I've had December 22nd circled on my calendar for months. This is the year…I hope. Yes, Michigan lost to Harvard earlier this month, but my beloved Bruins could easily start sluggishly, dig a double-digit hole and then rally furiously only to fall just short.
Yes, I majored in English, but all I ever read is that schools need math and science teachers.
Science was my worst subject in school, so teaching science is out. In college, I satisfied my science GEs with classes on smog and cancer.
Math, on the other hand, was my best subject in school until I hit Calc BC. I scored higher in math than in verbal on my SAT. I scored a 780 out of 800 my Math IIC SAT II. I scored higher on my Calc AB AP exam than on either of my English AP exams. I think I can at least teach pre-algebra.
Why the fuck did I major in English?
The more I think about it, the more I realize that teaching math is a better gig than teaching English. You don't have to grade papers or discuss books and (gag) poetry. In math, answers are either right or wrong. I'd just have to be able to solve any problem thrown at me, and I'd have a teacher's copy of the textbook to assist me.
Reach for the stars, Jon. Reach for the stars…
If CBS doesn't renew Kid Nation for a second season, it'll join The Mole and Contest Searchlight in the pantheon of underappreciated reality series.