No country for old men

St. Louis Post Dispatch columnist Dan O'Neill:

Rams running back Steven Jackson asked reporters to petition the stadium-operation types to play more lively music.

Of course, that's what is missing — hip-hop!

How can these Souljas Boys be expected to perform when the commercial interludes aren't jumping, yo?

Jackson suggested the situation be addressed with a write-up, so here it is, Dawg. We're calling on the stadium DJ to pump it up, and we thought these 10 titles might be most appropriate:

Wasted Time — Fuel
Why You Hate The Game — The Game featuring Marsha Ambrosia
I Don't Care — Ricky Martin featuring Fat Joe and Amerie
Keep The Car Running — Arcade [sic]
Sorry, Blame It On Me — Akron [sic]
Weak Inna Knees (aka "Give It Up For The O-Line") — Sean Paul
The Art of Losing — American Hi-Fi
Not Going Nowhere — Baby Face
Heartbreaker — Wil.I.Am
I Apologize — K-Ci

"I'm hip. I'm with it. Tucka tucka tucka tucka…"

Adam Robot:

—brock told me theres a guy at his work that makes six figures
—and he didn't know what being on the internet meant
—he called brock up, had his laptop at some hotel and said he 'couldn't get on the internet'
—the guy tried sticking the phone cord into the cat5 jack on the laptop
—brock finally talked him through shit, told him to load up IE and he goes "all that comes up is google"