A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius

Jason Statham will reprise the role of hitman Chev Chelios in "Crank 2: High Voltage."

In "Crank 2," Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working. [source]

A Chinaman has stolen his physical heart and replaced it with a faulty, battery-powered one.

[pause]

The writers of Pirates of the Caribbean 3 wish they'd thought of that.