Super Curry Animals

On my way inside Baja Fresh today, I passed by a flashy white Escalade with this decal on both sides of the car:

Why is a man in a turban holding a gun? I wondered. The answer
must lie in the text.

I scoured my buddy list for a translator. Alas, Tushar can't read Hindi Punjabi very well and Kalki, well…

did u see the britney spears upskirts
i examined them
i think they are real
i didn't see any smudges or blurring
and the c section scar is in the right location

Can anyone translate? I need to know why this guy is gangsta.

Always a bridesmaid

Is this some kind of joke, USA Today?

I've come to dread the first Saturday of December.

Do I think my beloved Bruins will beat USC on Saturday? No. I just hope they're competitive.

Do I want them to win? Of course. When I signed my letter of intent, I expected to witness at least one win against the Trojans. Two years after graduating, I'm still waiting for that one win.

At the same time, a win over USC would open the door for Florida to enter the national championship game, and I'd hate to inflate the Gators' sense of entitlement any more.

Yeah, I'm still bitter.


Let's try to negotiate

In the scene, a group of White House brass meet to discuss an impending terrorist threat.

Gervais, dressed like a presidential adviser, keeps whispering under his breath to give the mission to Jack Bauer – and then acts incredulous when someone else says it aloud and takes credit for the idea.

Cassar said he hopes Gervais agrees to let the scene he filmed be included as a DVD extra. "Ricky was just too recognizable to put in the show."

He's "too recognizable" for a show that cast Dennis Hopper and RoboCop.

Ricky Takes '24' [New York Post]

Shoot Me

Previously on Adam Riff™:
I struggled to finish editing the first draft of Leon's guide to digital cameras.

I had higher hopes for Leon's second draft. Then I read the first line.

Digital Cameras have been around for decades.

He followed that gem with this:

You will need the following supplies:

1. The diagram is incomprehensible.
2. Why did he diagram what should be a bulleted list?


Diminishing Returns

"Asian Thanksgiving."

Three buddies sent that message to me on Thursday.

"Asian Thanksgiving." Like it's Hanukkah or something.

Listen, people, we spend time with our families. We eat turkey.

We also eat empanadas and paella and dine with several other families.

Last night, I caught up with some childhood friends whom I hadn't seen in about three years.

One's now an attorney for Google. Another's an apprentice cardiac surgeon. One plans to apply for a job with the FBI.

Meanwhile, I'm writing blurbs about Bomberman.

I felt so frivolous, but you can't choose your family friends.

Lucky me.

A place for fiends

'Twas a banner day at "work" on Tuesday, as Bonk's Adventure and Bomberman '93 both debuted on Wii Virtual Console.

While browsing the comments on Bonk's MySpace page, I noticed an odd avatar.

"No way," I thought. "Are those black Insane Clown Posse fans? Maybe they're just krumpers."

Curious, I clicked on the page link above the avatar.

Sure enough, they're black juggaloes (sp?).

Oy vey…

Also, I don't want to accuse my boss of being a perv, but the random inclusion of "hot babes" on Bonk's MySpace page? His idea.

Claire and Present Danger

The girl who plays the cheerleader on Heroes also played a cheerleader in Bring It On: All or Nothing, a direct-to-video sequel.

Moreover, she's friends with Paris Hilton and used to date Stephen Colletti of Laguna Beach.

Tell me again why she needed to be saved.

My favorite Wiki-tidbit: She currently lives in Palisades, New York but also resides in…Warren, Michigan.

The guy who plays the evil quarterback she crippled won the lead role in WarGames 2: The Dead Code.

Lanter plays computer hacker Will Farmer, whose world gets turned upside after playing an online terrorist-attack simulator game against a government super-computer designed to profile potential terrorists. All hell breaks loose when Homeland Security is convinced that he's a terrorist intent on disrupting the fabric of society.

Oh, Hollywood…

Hayden Panettiere [Wikipedia]
Lanter enters 'The Dead Code' [Production Weekly]


A few thoughts on Casino Royale:

Chris Cornell, parkour, Body Worlds, Jeffrey Wright, a sword — I feel like the producers compiled a list of random shit and challenged the crew to incorporate everything on the list into the film.

This is the third Bond movie of the past four with a finale that puts the Bond girl in a drowning situation.

When I saw where Bond recovered from torture, I half-expected him to touch Eva Green's skin and remark, "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere!"

Not Dark Yet

Apparently, Vivendi Universal turned that flying toaster screensaver into a mobile game.

Navigate a flying toaster through eight stages full of obstacles like aliens, fish and falling cows. Scoop up bread slices, hot dogs and pizza; avoid deadly hamburgers.


This isn't quite the killer app I was expecting.

Flying Toaster Review [IGN]

In Soviet Russia, God thanks you

This one's for Tony:

Warner Bros. is on a roll in Russia with a local version of its 1980s TV hit "Perfect Strangers," featuring two local actors playing reincarnated versions of the show's original central characters Larry and Balki — but with the new monikers of Andrei and Ivan.

And this is just the beginning for Warner Bros. International Television as it heads east in a scripted format deal with the Russians that will see its popular sitcoms "Suddenly Susan," "Step by Step" and "Full House" go Cyrillic.

What? No Family Matters? But Urkel transcends cultures!

I can't wait until Ivan shows up on Russian Step by Step as a gay hairstylist.

Perfecting 'Strangers' with a Russian twist [The Hollywood Reporter]

Smorgasbored: As long as Energon flows through these circuits…

Transformers: Poorly meted lines [Gig Matrix]
Jokes Made by Robots, for Robots [McSweeney's]
The Very Weirdest Bond Henchmen [Cinematical]
40 Things That Only Happen In Movies [Nostalgia Central]
The 50 most influential American Jews [The Jewish Daily Forward]