Craigslist is amazing. I could offer genital herpes and probably still receive 25 replies within an hour. Of course, Craigslist doesn't screen users, so questionable e-mails inevitably plague your inbox. Shall we? MR. TOOLE <miketoole666@xxxxx.xxx> i want it all xxx xxx xxxx call asap  thanx…
Date Archives August 2006
Yeast Infection
Relayed in a commercial during Sunday's telecast of the PGA Championship: Michelob Ultra — proud sponsor of Sergio Garcia. Figures. A low-carb beer for a whiny loser. God willing, Rainier Ice will sponsor me someday.
All your snake are belong to us
I wanted to rent Snakes on a Train tonight, but the DVD player I have access to here in Chicago won't function properly. Things that make you go "hmmm…": Six shelves at Blockbuster devoted to the movie RV and not a single copy in sight….
The Last Word
A hidden camera show needs to release live snakes into a theatre showing Snakes on a Plane. I love the meta-ness of watching snakes attack people in a confined space watching snakes attack people in a confined space.
Snakes on crack
1. An Indian man noticed the unusually long line and approached me. "What's the movie about?" [sigh] 2. It may look stupid, but so did Cars, and that shit grossed over $200 million. 3. I perused the TSA's list of permitted and prohibited items before…
Reptile Dysfunction
In anticipation of you know what, this week, we salute our favorite snakes. The fifth and final: Jake "The Snake" Roberts Jake "The Snake" Roberts was a World Wrestling Federation superstar in the 80s. After the Honky Tonk Man injured Jake's neck with a guitar…
Killing an Arab
On his summer vacation in Crawford, Texas, George Bush read Albert Camus' novel The Stranger. White House spokesman Tony Snow said Bush "found it an interesting book and a quick read" and talked about it with aides. "I don't want to go too deep into…
Reptile Dysfunction
In anticipation of you know what, this week, we salute our favorite snakes. Today: "Snake Charmer" The "Snake Charmer" puzzle, from the British game show Catchphrase, is a classic outrageous game show moment. The black lady is not amused. Previously: Snake Plissken Snake Man Archie…
Celebrity Fit Club
It's not a tumor! Royale with teats. I sell propane and propane accessories.
Reptile Dysfunction
In anticipation of you know what, this week, we salute our favorite snakes. Today: Archie "Snake" Simpson I missed the first wave of Degrassi completely, so I shall defer to AJ: "In the early days of Degrassi Junior High, Snake was a metal head! (he…