1. I saw Wolf Creek on Christmas Day. During the first half of the film, the gentleman sitting in front of me played Tetris on his cell phone.

2. The line "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you" should be banned from screenwriting. It's become entirely lame.

3. Not lame: the tagline for Last Holiday.

Bravo, copywriter(s).

4. A SeaWorld in San Antonio is like a Disneyland in Flint rollercoasters at Marine World liquid sunshine a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's court.

A SeaWorld in San Antonio is like the plot of Black Knight.

5. Adventures in Google Fighting:

The Gonzaga forward routs the Bears' rookie quarterback…

but proves no match against the White Stripes' leading man.

Even Das Führer's iconic 'stache struggles to beat Three Quid.

Meg White yields more results than Adam Morrison and Kyle Orton combined.