"What's going on here, Frank?"
"My name's not Frank. It's Jack Bauer."
Man, January is the best month of them all.
God help us all.
I saw a car with a "Hillary 2008" sticker already attached to its bumper. A victory by Hillary in 2008 would mean nearly a quarter-century of Bushes and Clintons presiding over America.
Methinks our country needs a fresh start.
Also: Methinks Raven Symone uses Dove Firming products.
Times must really be tough at General Motors if Chevy commercials have to use a knockoff version of "American Idiot" by Green Day.
"Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson is begging to be covered by Dashboard Confessional.
If a girl is wearing a skirt and dancing to "Stayin' Alive," she will go down on you. This is a universal law.
Hershey's Kisses are diversifying at an alarming rate. You can now purchase them in milk chocolate, with almonds, in dark chocolate, with caramel, with white chocolate, with dulce de leche, with peanut butter, with cherry, with mint, and candy-coated like M&M's.
"Wall's still barren."
Do you think when Jesus comes back, he's really going to want to look at a cross?
Bill Hicks on Letterman
I lost 50 pounds in three months!
Is it a sport played by Super Mario or Air Bud?
1. auto racing
answers: 1. SM | 2. both | 3. both | 4. AB | 5. SM | 6. both | 7. SM | 8. AB
College crew team members like to wear clothing that informs people that they are on the crew team.