1. Set your TiVos. "Phil's busy." "Damn. Well, who's available?" That Oprah needs to ask why men go to strip clubs is an insult to common sense. 2. Name that ethnicity! a. Tedy Bruschi b. Scott Podsednik No answer key because I honestly don't know….
Date Archives October 2005
Geek Stink Breath
A long time ago, while perusing IMDb, I stumbled upon a film called 5-25-77, the release date for Star Wars classic. The film's website offered little information, but the production company granted my request for a copy of the script. I expected a plot involving…
Lord, please lead us to Ricardo Diaz
Previously on Adam Riff™: Cindy Sheehan plans to tie herself to the White House fence. I think she'd be infinitely more entertaining as an activist magician. Cindy Sheehan and other peace activists plan to "die symbolically" for the next four days outside the White House…
24shadowing
For all you hopeless baseball ignorers: 24 season five promo :D
Broken chords can sing a little
Cindy Sheehan, the military mother who made her son's death in Iraq a rallying point for the anti-war movement, plans to tie herself to the White House fence to protest the milestone of 2,000 U.S. military deaths in Iraq. [source] I like Cindy the psycho,…
Rolodex Propaganda
People of Earth… The term "MILF" is not funny. Cut it out. Freshman year of high school, my English teacher surveyed our class on popular slang. Being totally uncool*, I wrote down what I assumed was popular slang at the time — that is, slang…
Pen Is Envy
My buddy wrote an article on film adaptations of video games to coincide with today's release of Doom (access with BugMeNot). "Blah and bleh"? My suggestion. Snarking on Uwe Boll? My suggestion. Interviewing Brian of Kotaku? My suggestion. Someday I'd like to be able to…
All Jews carry gold in a little bag around their necks
Weezer recently shot a video for "Perfect Situation," only without Rivers Cuomo as the singer. "We are exploring the history of Weezer. Before Weezer was Weezer, they were a band called Weeze. Rivers was just a roadie for the band, and they had a totally…
Free Chicken
David Copperfield says he plans to impregnate a girl on stage – without even touching her. Immaculate conception is definitely an improvement over the überlame tornado of fire. Copperfield's best "headlining" illusion to date remains flying. I still wonder how he did that. NBC ought…
Crimson and Clover
Happy birthday, Ben. Your present is in the mail. Asian experience indeed.
For the shorties
SmackDown General Manager Theodore Long announced today the introduction of a new WWE wrestling division exclusive to Friday Night SmackDown: The Juniors. The Juniors Division will be comprised of world-class athletes at or below 5 feet tall. "Midgets, dwarves, the little people; they're all welcome."…
Trojan Whores
Today (Friday) I encountered a bunch of people in town for the USC vs. Notre Dame game dressed head to toe in burgundy and gold merchandise. I wondered if they forgot that the game wasn't until today (Saturday) or if they simply wanted to look…
I promise never to get paint on my glasses again
1. 2. Today on 30 Minute Meals, Rachael Ray prepared a meal that reminded her of her dead dog. In addition, she regaled viewers with impressions of her dead dog. Dead dog. Dead. 3. photos of Rachael Ray in FHM 4. Lou Taylor Pucci (Thumbsucker)…
The center of the earth is the end of the world
1. 2. I tried writing a sketch about Domino Harvey at Bounty Hunters Anonymous "My name is Domino Harvey, and I'm a bounty hunter." "Hi, Domino." but couldn't sustain the premise. The plan was to populate the BHA meeting with other notable bounty hunters —…
The mediator between head and hands must be the heart!
1. My eyes…the burning! 2. Nude man discovered just hanging around Police responding to an alarm at a cash advance business found a naked man hanging from the ceiling. An officer answering the alarm last week noticed tiles, insulation, wires and metal braces hanging from…
Caged In, Wasting Away
1. UNTITLED BOB SAGET PROJECT (HBO) – Bob Saget has set up a new comedy at the pay channel about a divorced dad who works as a gynecologist in Phoenix and struggles to balance raising his 14-year-old son and his active social life. Saget will…
5-0
Sunglasses.
If they don't win it's a shame
Wouldn't be October at this website without a baseball update. "The Adam Riff™ Postseason Baseball Hall of Pain (Beta)" 2002 world series game 7 2002 world series game 7 2003 nlds game 4 2003 nlcs game 7 2003 alcs game 7 2005 alds game 1…
Nobody likes you when you're 23
Well, this past year sure sucked. Consider it the chapter in my life entitled "Going Nowhere Slowly." Demoralizing? Very. [sigh] Maybe this year will be better than the last…