I got beat up by a taco

Fuckin' A.

I leave school and they book free shows by: Common, Thrice, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Architecture In Helsinki, The Hold Steady, The Constantines and Diplo.


If Oregon State defensive tackle Sir Henry Anderson was knighted, he'd be Sir Sir Henry Anderson.

If he shunned the NFL for a career practicing magic, he'd be Sir Sir the sorcerer.

If he then attended WWE's annual November pay-per-view event, he'd be Sir Sir the sorcerer at Sur Ser.

[edit] If RFK's assassin accompanied him, he'd be Sir Sir the sorcerer at Sur Ser with Sirhan Sirhan.

If Survivor Series emanated from the same location as WrestleMania IX, he'd be Sir Sir the sorcerer at Caesars with Sirhan Sirhan for Sur Ser.

If said Survivor Series also inaugurated a new arena that Anderson invested in, he'd be Sir Sir the sorcerer with scissors and Sirhan Sirhan at Caesars for Sur Ser.


"North by Midwest" with Adam Robot:

we went out last night
and this kid sitting at the table next to us
he just sat there and puked on the table
like imagine sitting still and just opening up and puking straight forward onto a table
needless to say, it was hilarious
he looked over at us, like he didn't do it
THEN he did it again
i was amazed
from that point on, i just watched him, because it was entertaining
everyone else was like "ew, lets go" "i'm a sissy"
all while i was trying to figure out what he had to eat


I saw a guy on Milwaukee Ave. wearing an "FDNY" hat and a t-shirt that said "Tulane Cheerleader."

It was raining.

He must have forgotten his trench coat at home, I thought.


My turn to discuss Maury

From what I've seen, every episode of contemporary Maury consists of a series of the same segment:

Guest has secret to reveal to lover / accusation against lover.
Guest reveals secret/accusation to audience.
Audience reacts.
Lover joins guest on stage.
Guest reveals secret to lover / accuses lover.
Lover cries/denies.
Maury validates/refutes secret/accusation with dubious lie detector / paternity test results.
Audience reacts.
When results "validate" secret/accusation (and they usually do), traumatized guest/lover runs off stage.
Fin.

As much as I think Dr. Phil is a hack, at least he tries to resolve conflict. Maury just revels in crumbling relationships.

Hell, so many guests flee to his show's backstage area that he furnished it.

How I long for the days when he'd interview human Chewbaccas.


Five-Word Film Review: A History of Violence
Astonishing violence. Must be seen.

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