Thumbs Down

Yesterday, I saw a commercial for a History Channel special on Rome that compared the Superdome to the Colosseum.

How apropos.

Trapped in an Arena of Suffering

"A 2-year-old girl slept in a pool of urine."

"We pee on the floor."

"One mother said she was given two diapers and told to scrape them off when they got dirty and use them again."

"At least two people, including a child, have been raped."

"One man […] jumped 50 feet to his death, saying he had nothing left to live for."

"There is feces all over the place."

"I wake up in the morning and the first thing I say is: Where are my babies? Is everyone here?"

"Some people had wrapped plastic bags on their feet to escape the urine and wastewater seeping from piles of trash."

"An alarm had been going off for more than 24 hours and no one knew how to turn it off."

Unfortunately, no Saints were around to protect them.


The Tonight Show with Jay Leno announced it will have celebrity guests autograph a Harley-Davidson motorcycle to auction off on eBay later this month to raise relief funds.

Another charity motorcycle?

If Leno had a child, he'd probably make him or her apply for every scholarship imaginable so that he wouldn't have to pay for college.

Relief funds are relief funds, but I'd rather people donate from the heart or not donate at all.

David P. Steiner, CEO of Waste Management Inc., the winning bidder of Leno's "tsunami victims" motorcycle, said in a press release: "The auction presented us with the opportunity to continue our support efforts, and also gives us an opportunity to use the bike as an employee pride builder."

"All those 80-hour work weeks paid off, baby. Boss let me borrow the bike. Look at that — Nicollette Sheridan's signature! Take a picture of me beside it. What? Yeah, he wanted to help feed gooks and shit. Cheese!"


Way Too Soon Jokes
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