I will smash your face into a jelly

I hope "My Doorbell" evolves through live performance tinkering into a rockin' "Trapped in the Closet"-style operetta.

I'm thinkin' about my dinner.
When you gonna make it?
When you gonna make it?

I'm thinkin' about my mistress.
"When you gonna abort it?"
"When you gonna abort it?"

I'm thinkin' about my colostomy bag.
When you gonna empty it?
When you gonna empty it?

Detroit found to be most liberal U.S. city

Gary, Ind., was found to be the second-most liberal followed by Berkeley, Calif.; Washington [D.C.]; and Oakland, Calif.

Hippies are apparently no match for poor black people.

Shit, how left-wing must Africa be?

BILL O'REILLY: We didn't lose the [Vietnam] war.
ANN COULTER: Yeah, we kind of did. I think we did lose that one.
O'REILLY: I don't. I disagree with you. But that's a debate for another day.
COULTER: They're living under communism, Bill.


Charlie Day is my new hero.