Excerpts from actual customer reviews of Sufjan Stevens' album Illinois on Amazon.com:
"The result is a beautiful album with music so good it could be on Broadway. Golly…I think if everyone actually listened to the album there is no way that everyone could not love it."
"This man is blessed with some great gift-the how and why are up to the listener to discern, but I don't think any music fan in their right mind can deny that Sufjan is operating on a different, higher plane at the moment."
"With each subsequent album, Sufjan Stevens has slowing been building note-by-note, song-by-song into the musical equivalent of a modern day Walt Whitman. His talent is so immense it can only be obscured by the sheer volume of material he churns out. It's as if midterms happened every week instead of once a semester."
"I've taken in the albums as some of the most accomplished songwriting and execution thereof to levels unfamiliar to modern man. The entity of Sufjan is so simple and doubly complex that a big label record company wouldn't have a clue where to start."
"How he can make a song about a UFO sighting so dazzling is beyond me."
"The song about the girl with bone cancer (bone marrow?) is one of Sufjan's best and most chilling songs."
"Let me begin by saying that this is the first disc and artist that has ever compelled me to write a review on this site and I have been lurking about searching for great music for well over five years now."
"I haven't been to church in at least 10 years (not counting weddings and funerals) but this collection of musings on the Bible (in particular Revelations) led me to contemplate my place in this world and the possibility of an almighty creator."
"P.S. I strongly encourage everyone to check out Pitchfork Record's glowing review of this masterpiece for further confirmation that this disc is well worth the purchase price and is one of the best of 2005."
"I do believe that this album is highly professional extremely amazing. I honestly know it would be desired by almost ANYBODY. Buy it and I promise you will fall in love. We all need an album like this to keep our heads."
"I feel like I'm learning all about the HEART of the state when I listen."
Reviewer: Rory Hornblower [REAL NAME™]
This album hasn't left my iPod Shuffle since it leaked back in April. I've had to re-stock much of my waist-down wardrobe because my dick keeps busting through the seams of my shorts when I visit the gym. The record label should have replaced Superman on the cover with an illustration of Sufjan, considering his music makes you feel like Lois Lane. The banjo in "Casimir Pulaski Day" is akin to losing one's virginity. Instead of using Paxil to treat severe postpartum depression, Brooke Shields could have simply embraced Sufjan. Man may never discover the meaning of life, but Illinois is a step in the right direction.
Nip/tuck notices!
Brown Cardigan
Lousy as reading material, brilliant as an experiment in website design. Abandons the "blog" (God, I hate that word) format for a psychotropic collage of often baffling content.
Something Like Tripe
Tushar is finishing up production on a DVD port of a video by Tripe members. I'm eager to share.