If the press intends to forcefeed me Danica Patrick hype until she wins, here's hoping she starts racing wheelchairs soon. Cowboy Troy is such an Uncle Tom. He markets himself as bizarro Eminem but fails to grasp that there's nothing cool about a black guy…
Date Archives May 2005
Little House of Savages
All right. The statute of limitations expired and I'm free to discuss what happened. Last time, I incorporated The Amazing Race. This time, I'm using 24. Shall we begin? Right now, video game enthusiasts are plotting to film and network at E3, opening day for…
Jesus fuckin' Christ in a birch bark canoe
Even if you don't follow sports, I suggest tuning in to one of the remaining NBA Eastern Conference Finals games on TNT to catch this strange commercial for the NBA Finals in which fat Magic Johnson plays basketball with the Fantastic Four. Do you think…
Once upon a time
My mother called me from Taipei. Uncle #6 on my mother's side was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. I don't know how many more deaths in my family I can handle. I'm tired of visiting hospitals and attending funerals. In my 22 years of living,…
Cinema Beer Goggles
Adam Riff's Summer Movie Preview Remake (June 3) Adaptation (June 10) Remake (June 10) Prequel (June 15) Sequel (June 22) Adaptation (June 24) Sequel (June 24) Remake (June 29) Remake (July 8) Adaptation (July 8) Remake (July 15) Remake (July 22) Sequel (July 22) Sequel…
Things that make you go "hmmm"
If you had to watch one of the following, which film would you choose? a. Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace b. The Matrix Reloaded c. The Godfather: Part III Adam Robot sent me this endlessly amusing YTMND of Darth Vader saying "Noooooooooo!" at…
21st Century Digital Boy
Holy cannoli! I just saw the program schedule for the 2005 Visual Effects Society Festival in Santa Monica. Day two: a panel on Sin City with visual effects people from Cafe FX, The Orphanage and Hybride a panel on Revenge of the Sith with visual…
You played a role
What happened to Behrooz? Entertainment Weekly: The producers did plan to show one final scene of the poor put-upon Behrooz being told that his ma was dead. But the scene was edited for time in the finale. The real burning question is whether Kim will…
Bit Rate Variations in B-Flat
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog on TRL: Eminem being a white rapper, that just means that he has the smallest penis in hip-hop. Well, him and Missy Elliott. Mad magazine was an important part of my childhood. Between the ages of 7 and 14, I…
Revenge of the Nerds 2
More photographs (courtesy of Forest): inside the auditorium