New Jersey's where America's at

My buddy Jose's flying to New York City today to interview people at Rockstar Games.

Rockstar supposedly doesn't grant very many interviews. Jose claims to be the first mainstream press reporter to score one (or several, rather).

Good for him.


I attended a Green Day concert last November and wanted to buy a black t-shirt with the American Idiot logo on it until I noticed that the shirt had white stitching, which looks retarded on black.

Yesterday, I saw my neighbor Ivan wearing a black Rise Against t-shirt that also had white stitching.

What's wrong with black stitching on a black shirt? Are punk bands broke? Is white thread cheaper than black thread? Did Wendy Pepper design said shirts? What's goin' on?

I had a sudden urge to eat a Caesar salad, so I went to Ralphs to pick up ingredients. In the interest of saving money, I bought the cheapest Caesar dressing I could find, a Kraft-brand bottle.

I should've known better than to buy a Kraft product.

The mere smell wafting out of the squirt hole nauseated me.

I think Kraft products are best enjoyed when you're young and too naive to realize how absolutely disgusting they are.

I'm embarrassed to have once debased myself with Oreos and processed cheese spread on crackers with a red plastic stick.

I'm not sure if 50 Cent music videos masquerade as softcore heterosexual or homosexual porn. 50 likes to film himself rapping alongside scantily-clad women…but he also likes to film himself rapping without a shirt on, and he's pretty fit.

Belated humorous snippets…

From Neal Pollack's review of the Grammy Awards:

—Tom Waits, Jill Scott, the Scissor Sisters? Got a Grammy nomination? But I saw the Scissor Sisters live two years ago! I'd never seen a live band before they received a Grammy nomination.

—The keyboardist [of Maroon 5] looks like a PIRG canvasser.

—Ellen DeGeneres seems to like [the performance], because she dances to her own tune.

—[Green Day is] far better than Zeppelin, though the sex to their music goes at a much less seductive pace.

—Tim McGraw is just a country version of "Tuesdays With Morrie."

From Sports Guy ramblings:

—Ten years from now, I just want to be in the same room when a grown-up Hart watches the tape of his birthday party on "My Super Sweet 16" … and tries to swallow his own tongue.