Strike the fucking match to light this fuse

Attention fans of Arrested Development: petitions and letters are useless without someone like Bill O'Reilly personally adopting the cause and continuously voicing outrage until the target bows.

If you really want Fox to restart production, convince Adult Swim to add the series to its lineup.


Drummer Ryan Vikedal recently left Canadian rock group Nickelback. Then drummer Daniel Adair quit 3 Doors Down. 3DD singer Brad Arnold told Howard Stern that Adair left to become Nickelback's new drummer. Now comes word that Puddle of Mudd drummer Greg Upchurch will be behind the kit for 3 Doors Down's tour, though he has not left his main gig. All three bands toured together last summer.

Leaving 3 Doors Down to join Nickelback. What an improvement, eh?


Sundried tomatoes are such a useless ingredient. Have they ever positively enhanced a food dish?


American Dragon: Jake Long is an animated series on Disney Channel about a (supposedly) Chinese family living in New York City who can turn into dragons if necessary.

I caught an episode that featured a montage sequence set to a lousy "we couldn't get the rights to" imitation of "Hey Ya!"

I had two problems with what I saw:

1. Why is Jake's father white?

2. Asians who skateboard don't talk like AZNs, even in an urban environment. Jake needs to decide what kind of Asian he is (black, white or FOB) and roll with it. His identity crisis is annoying.


Speaking of racial incongruities in children's programming, can someone explain to me why on Nickelodeon's Romeo!, Romeo's white friend has a black mother and sister?


In my previous update, I mentioned that I'm not supposed to eat any chicken until the 19th.

So much for that.

I visited Costco today and while gorging myself on food samples, I inadvertently downed a few cups of chicken teriyaki rice bowl before my mother caught my sacrilege.

Mock my family's poultry fast if you must, but I'll have you know that tonight at dinner, my cousin Betsy received a phone call informing her that a close friend of hers just died in a car crash.

Guess who was sitting beside her at the time.


The menu boards at a Costco snack bar feature the least appealing images of food I have ever seen.

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