Actual movies set for release in 2005:

Santa's Slay
It turns out that Santa Claus (WCW superstar Goldberg) is not really the cuddly, harmless old fellow that we all know and love. In fact, he's a devil, and the only thing that has been keeping his bad side in check all this time is a bet he lost with an angel. Now, the bet has expired, and 1000 years of good cheer will be replaced by Christmas fear. Nicholas, his girlfriend Mac and his crazy grandfather are the only ones who know the truth about Santa and can save their town…and the world.

Not only does a wrestler play evil Santa Claus, but in real life, he's Jewish!

Nowhere Man
Conrad finds a pornographic video featuring his fiancé Jennifer. Shocked, he calls the wedding off. After an emotionally brutal week, Jennifer cuts off Conrad's penis and takes it with her for ransom. A doctor advises Conrad that if found immediately, there is some hope for re-attachment. Vengeful and furious, Conrad blunders gun first into the underworld of Jennifer's "blue film" past to find her — and his missing member!

[pause]

Brokeback Mountain
A Wyoming ranch hand (Jake Gyllenhaal) and a rodeo cowboy (Heath Ledger) fall in love as 19-year-olds in 1963 while sheepherding on Brokeback Mountain. The film follows the men's clandestine relationship over 20 years: their marriages to women, the birth of their children, regular mountaintop assignations, the impossibility of their permanent union, and the gradual acceptance of the grave repercussions of their love.

It's a story about gay cowboys directed by Ang Lee (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon)! Is America ready for the unbridled lust of Donnie Darko and a knight?

Snakes on a Plane
A ruthless assassin unleashes a crate full of lethal snakes aboard a packed passenger jet over the Pacific Ocean in order to eliminate a witness in protective custody. The rookie pilot and frightened passengers must band together to survive.

"Hey, what's Snakes on a Plane about?"

Today You Die
directed by: Don E. FauntLeRoy
starring: Steven Seagal and Treach from Naughty By Nature as "Ice Cool."

No synopsis needed.