This week is "Get Tested" week at UCLA. It is also Islam Awareness Week. Both seek to inform people about deadly killers.

[pause]

I'm sorry. That was inappropriate. Ethnic jokes are not funny.

As punishment, I shall blindfold myself with floss and comb my pubes in search of a penis.

—The 1/31 Globe features a picture of [Chyna] sitting down after peeing on herself.

Adam Robot:
—Maybe she stepped on a jellyfish.

Fuck Britney Spears and Amanda Bynes. On this site, we obsess over Joanie Laurer.

Sure, Britney walked into a gas station restroom barefoot, but Chyna (while being filmed for television sitting on a couch naked using a pair of headphones to cover her nipples) argued incoherently with her ex-wrestler-boyfriend about whether she blew pot smoke into his nine-year-old daughter's face.

With all due respect to crazy people, you're hilarious!

[pause]

I'm sorry. That was inappropriate. Mental illness is not funny.

BRB. American Idol auditions are on.