Growing Up With G'n'R

Eddie Spaghetti of The Supersuckers:
—Let's say that the Republican Party is Van Halen and (for the sake of argument we will time travel quite a bit) Abraham Lincoln is the David Lee Roth of Republicans. An ass kicking, slave freeing, minimize-the-government-in-our-lives bad-ass. The glory years. Then let's say Sammy Hagar is the Ronald Reagan character. He totally lost the die-hard, but for some reason Van Halen had never been more popular. Hit after hit. The Van Halen machine makes more money than anyone thought possible! Next, sadly, it's time to enter that guy from Extreme, Gary Cherone. Here is our G.W. Bush. Even the most dyed-in-the-wool Van Halen fans have to admit, this was one bad idea. It didn't work, and, thankfully, we only had to put up with one record from this version of the Republican Par… uh, I mean… Van Halen. Gary made Van Halen so bad that Sammy Hagar returning actually seemed like a GOOD idea! So there you go. Even Republicans have to admit that G.W. has totally "Gary Cheroned" this Presidency, don't you think?

Comments are closed.