The Happy Birthday of Death

I was about to go to sleep Saturday morning when I came across a VH1 documentary on Joe Pantoliano remodeling his house. I stayed up another hour to watch it. VH1 is so addictive.

I saw footage of a recent Bush rally on the news. One supporter had a sign that said "Red Sox Fan for Bush."

How dare this person appropriate my beloved team for electioneering! Was it really necessary to involve the Red Sox in the sign? Consider me a Red Sox Fan for the mutilation of this person's genitals.

Ted Nugent just told me to "vote my conscience" in a Burger King commercial. Not unless I get a prize from the Ted Shed.

<3 VH1.

I've seen commercials this year for several perverse video games based on the Vietnam War.

I can only imagine the gameplay.

Level one: help the American government install Ngo Dinh Diem as a puppet leader. Level ten: assassinate Diem when he proves to be an ineffective puppet leader.

If I remember correctly, America lost the Vietnam War. How do players beat these games? By killing a bunch of commies and then pretending what followed never happened? By returning home belatedly and becoming a crazy homeless person?

A Vietnam War shooter from a Vietcong perspective would make more sense.

My ass is waiting for your boot, Toby Keith.

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