I was about to go to sleep Saturday morning when I came across a VH1 documentary on Joe Pantoliano remodeling his house. I stayed up another hour to watch it. VH1 is so addictive. I saw footage of a recent Bush rally on the news….
Date Archives October 2004
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Ahahahahahahahahahaha. The plastic wrapping of the latest issue of Official Playstation Magazine says: "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas — Is it really the best video game ever made?" Ahahahahahahahahahaha. Everyone knows it's Halo 2.
Religion, Politics and the Great Pumpkin
"Who will cut the wheat?" "Not I," said the Duck. "Not I," said the Cat. "Not I," said the Dog. "Then I will," said the Little Red Hen. And she did. Each year, Associated Students UCLA holds a pumpkin carving contest. I work in the…
Demoniacally and Seraphically Drunk
Halloween round-up: me: Purple Tentacle from Day of the Tentacle Jon: a zombie wearing a "Vote or Die!" shirt with an "I voted!" sticker on it Jon's brother: Superman in a wheelchair with a tube feeding him "stem cells" (pearl tea/boba) Kevin and Allie: The…
The Day After Tomorrow
Ahem. Everybody, say it with me now. "The Boston Red Sox haven't won the World Series since 11:40 pm EDT last night!" McGee: —St. Louis let Scott Stapp sing "God Bless America," which probably really pissed God off. I want to fly back to Boston…
Quickie
clip of the week: "This season on Battle for Ozzfest… Attorney: One of the girls was 16, the other one was 15. [metal band member looks surprised]"
Toasted Ravioli
3-0. One game. I'm not used to feeling joy. My sports teams usually only lose. This is weird. One game. It's no longer a matter of if, but when. "The Boston Red Sox have won the centennial World Series!"Will it be tonight? Tomorrow? Saturday? Halloween?…
Post No Bills
I checked my watch. 10:45. Shit. Class starts in 15 minutes. But I'm hungry. Fuck. Who schedules class at noon? I'll just stop by the 7-Twelve up the road. "One Thing" by Finger Twelve played in the background as I grabbed a hot dog and…
The lowercase "R" is an orthodox jew
I'm not exaggerating when I say that every blogger has posted something about Ashlee Simpson's lip sync fiasco on Saturday Night Live this past week. I've read a lot of comments that say "I hope Simpson's gaffe results in the end of her dubious career."…
Jesse McCartney needs a good punch in the balls
I saw a half-page advert in the L.A. Weekly for this album: Everyone, J. Yu would like you to meet J-Me! Her full name is Jaimie Lee Hoffman, but she goes by J-Me. It's like J. Lo, only it's merely a phonetic reduction of her…
The Sinking Ship, The Grand Applause
Enough baseball updates. By now, thanks to the internet, pretty much everyone has seen Jon Stewart's appearance on Crossfire last week during which he verbally sparred with co-host Tucker Carlson. The video rip I downloaded begins with a text introduction that says: "Dear Jon /…
Like a Phoenix Ignition
Vilification. Bucky Dent? Assholes. Vagary. Is it really happening? No… Wait until the 8th… Paradigm. Remember game 6 of the '02 World Series. The Giants' 8th inning collapse. Game 6 of the '03 NLCS. 8th inning. Bartman. Game 7 of the '03 ALCS. Pedro's 8th…
A totally different Hulk that we made up
Joe Buck doesn't seem human. He's like a Stepford announcer. Also: he has a large forehead. Pop quiz! Is it a hairstyle of a Boston Red Sox player or Christina Aguilera? answers: (left to right, top to bottom) 1. bosox, 2. xtina, 3. bosox, 4….
Disintegration is the best album ever
On September 17, MTV Europe paid tribute to The Cure in London. Hosted by lifelong Cure fan Marilyn Manson, MTV Icon: The Cure featured celebrity shout-outs and live Cure covers by fellow Cure fans AFI, Blink 182, Razorlight and The Deftones. "Just Like Heaven" by…
Quickie
Howard Stern reports that Michael Ian Black is set to replace Craig Kilborn as host of The Late Late Show. Developing…
You had me at "dicks fuck assholes"
I saw a sneak preview of Team America: World Police on Saturday. Paramount sent audio and video crews to the Village to gather material for a national Team America television and radio ad campaign. A cameraman videotaped a bunch of us in line screaming "Team…
Small World
I have never met Adam Riff™. I corresponded with him via e-mail a couple of times a few years ago, but that's the extent of our relationship. He's a friend of Seth's whose name I appropriated. So now then. Elvin: —so… —i met adam riff™'s…
Making out with my brother
—What did you do for your birthday, Jon? —Homework. I turned 22 on Wednesday. As a welcome birthday present, I got into an English seminar despite being last on the waiting list. English 182.2: Crime The professor wrote a book called Serial Killers: Death and…
He had no idea of the impression he was making and cared less
Chimp attends Washington University in St. Louis. Chimp: —In light of the presidential debate going on over here on Friday, a campus group is selling pink t-shirts for a dollar that read "John Kerry give Bush the pink slip." If you wear your shirt in…