The representative from California has the floor

There's an old football tradition that states that the Washington Redskins are an indicator of who will be elected President. If the Redskins win on the weekend before Election Day, it's a Republican. If they lose, it's a Democrat. Well, this year, they play the Green Bay Packers on said weekend.

Place your bets.

How much will it hurt Bears fans in Chicago to root for the Packers?

C-list Asian actors in an MTV Choose or Lose public service announcement that, at first, appears to be an ad for a futuristic, CGI-laden science fiction movie inform me that statistically, young Asian and Pacific Islander Americans are the least likely to show up at the voting booth. You want to know why? Because even if we vote, white men are still going to steal our women.

The Adam Riff™ Guide to Election Rhetoric
what they say what they really mean
"vote for something." "vote for kerry."
"declare yourself." "declare yourself for kerry."
"vote or die!" "vote for kerry or shyne will kill you."
"young people can make a difference. get involved today." "shit. we're out of black voters. who else might vote for kerry?"
"that's fine. you're free to feel differently." "i know it was you, fredo. you broke my heart. you broke my heart!"

Young Republican Mark thinks Kerry will win the popular vote but Bush will win the electoral (or: the one that matters). If this happens, George W. Bush will become the first President in American history to win office twice without ever winning the popular vote.

Mission accomplished.